Stalking the Average Man
Working my tongue around unformed thoughts, I said, -You demonstrated how our
thinking is dangerously skewed, how we constantly confuse ourselves, and I experienced enough
moments of true clarity to know how and why we‘re like this… kind of. | I raised my brow.
-You‘re this close, | she said, holding her thumb and forefinger together. -What was the
essence of our chat on the stairs? |
My joyfully stunned state of mind allowed me to envision our last confrontation
impersonally, and I saw it the way Bonnie wanted me to see it: the student‘s journey was a
message that represented the ways of the masses who would fight to the last of their reason to
remain as they were. There would be resistance and many casualties of free will, but it could be
no other way because as a species we‘re not all there.
-Shhhhit, | I said, exhaling a whisper as I realized I had barely skimmed the surface of...
anything. I was an idiot—still an idiot, but a little less dangerous after the Universe… crap.
-Who… who are you? | I stammered.
-I think you know who I am, | she said evenly.
It was too much to fathom: -I guess the question is wh-what are you? | I said, finding
courage to voice this thought.
-I guess it is, | Kha-li‘s messenger deadpanned.
Simplistically, | Bonnie said with a casualness I had never before seen when she was
teaching, -there are three phases to your journey. Phase one represented mankind‘s reactions to
their perceptions of the world they created. Specifically, fear forced you to focus inwardly so that
self-absorption became the shield that further blinded you to all that was not about you, and self-
importance demanded that you compete against the contradiction of hiding your secrets, while
ensuring others acknowledged the accomplishments that created them. As you appeared to win
battles in social and professional circumstances, self- interest demanded that you distance
yourself from the carnage both of these encounters generated, and the world you perceived
became increasingly naïve. As a self-anointed monarch stranded on an island of his buried
secrets, you used blunt force denial and razor sarcasm to defend against perceived intruders, and
you balanced these unwinnable conflicts by conquering unsuspecting women, to allay your true
sense of powerlessness. |
-I choose to accept your words as spoken, and I say that it has been my profound honor to
have been gifted with you as my first student, this time around. You are not only welcome, but
cherished; it is I who thank you. |
-You‘re welcome, | I mumbled.
Bonnie continued speaking with the casual air of what I interpreted as comprehensive relief
that she was no longer alone: Josh was trying to be with her in the metaphysical sense, as far as I
knew, but that was… Bonnie called it a work in progress.
-Phase one, | she said, -represented the unavoidable self-stalking lessons created by the
average man‘s choices. The second phase of your journey is not based on subterfuge or
otherwise average by any measure. It is about me stalking you into recognizing instances of
aberrant behavior, and categorizing these so that you can learn to stop them. Theoretically, you
could make this an intellectual endeavor aimed at defeating the addictions of personality that
uphold your self- image; I will offer you all of my lessons in this manner. However, I know of no
instances where a student was able to accept them in this way, because they consider their