Simplistically,” Bonnie said with a casualness I had never before seen, “there are three
phases to your journey. Phase one represented mankind’s reactions to their perceptions of the
world they created. Specifically, fear forced you to focus inwardly so that self-absorption
became the shield that further blinded you to all that was not about you, while self-importance
demanded that you compete against the contradiction of hiding your secrets, while ensuring the
accomplishments that created them were acknowledged by others. As you appeared to win
battles in social and professional circumstances, self-interest demanded that you distance
yourself from the carnage both of these encounters generated and the world you perceived
became increasingly naïve. As a self-anointed monarch stranded on an island of his buried
secrets, you used blunt force denial and razor sarcasm to defend against perceived intruders, and
you balanced these unwinnable conflicts by conquering unsuspecting women to allay your true
sense of powerlessness.”
“Thanks.”
“I choose to accept your words as spoken, and I say that it has been my profound honour to
have been gifted with you as my first student, this time around. You are not only welcome, but
cherished, so it is I who thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” I mumbled.
Bonnie continued speaking with the casual air of what I then interpreted as comprehensive
relief. “Phase one represented the unavoidable self-stalking lessons created by the average man’s
choices. The second phase of your journey is not based on subterfuge, or otherwise average by
any measure. It is about consciously being stalked into recognizing instances of aberrant
behaviour, and categorizing these so that you can learn to stop them. Theoretically, you could
make this an intellectual endeavour aimed at defeating the addictions of personality that uphold
your self-image, and I will offer you many lessons in this way. However, I know of no instances
where a student was able to do this, because they consider their behaviours to be who they are,
not how they feel about an interpretation of themselves.” She inhaled deeply. ”In reality,
everything I say will be an observation, but you will be unable to interpret my remarks in any
other way but criticism. It is because my every comment will sound like a challenge for you to
choose between continuing or quitting, phase two is the single most difficult physical
evolutionary event you, and everyone else, will face, while its reward is the most important
achievement an individual can make. This is claiming as their own knowledge what they are
really like. Without this knowledge, your evolutionary journey all but stalls because access to
true power depends upon it. I say all but stalls because, of necessity, you will know more than
enough to harm yourself before you reach this stage.”
“All of this,” I interjected a troubling thought, “means becoming like you—a loner, I
mean?”
“Until there are others of like mind, and similar training.” She softened her tone. “You are
free to communicate anything to anyone, but know that if you speak about your training and
unusual experiences the people who know you will think you have cracked under the strain of
post traumatic stress, which isn’t far from the truth. And those who don’t know you won’t want
to know a crazy man any more than you wanted to know me in other than the biblical sense. That
said,” she grinned, “I’ve found there’s a certain elegance in the irony.”
