Stalking the Average Man
-You think so? | I said as a prelude to giving up.
-The focus of your arguments has changed from defending your ideas to trying to
understand mine, which is doing the right thing for the right reason as an act of faith that
voluntarily sets your ego aside. Doing this opened the door to Spirit shifting your perceptions to
a new level of learning that most people would have dismissed as mental tricks, or run from; you
embraced them as valid experiences, regardless that you couldn‘t explain them. | She held up a
hand to stifle my protest. -What you thought you were doing with me doesn‘t matter. You acted
as if these were signs of awakening knowledge, and at the risk of your life as you know it you‘ve
been gathering energy to assess your inventory. Every day for months now, I‘ve presented you
with the piffling dares and resulting brutality of men's bravado, and you‘re still here. This is an
extraordinary achievement at the end of a crushing journey. | She smiled as though at an injured
-You have no idea how often or how close I came to leaving, and you really can‘t believe
I'll quit writing my book my way. It‘s all I have. |
Bonnie‘s look of mystification reminded me of the Canadian ambassador's wife at an
embassy dinner in Brasilia, when LeBlanc farted at a pitch that betrayed a hundred percent
humidity, as asked her to pass the bread.
-Quit? | she said, when she remembered to breath. -It‘s key. |
-To what? |
| Yes or no, | she said, inspecting me for signs of self-awareness, -you've covered flood,
famine, drought, earthquake, war?"
"There‘s no probably about it, you‘ve seen the end unfolding. | A ribbon grin crimped her
lips. -Picture your string map, | she said, using her fork as a conductor‘s baton to move my
thoughts through the signs of the apocalypse.
-Getting fucked up made me special? | I said as that deception suddenly warmed me.
-Those experiences encompass how we create and react to circumstances that ultimately
contribute to humankind‘s most extreme behaviors. In a profound way, you're a crowd that has
been conformed to embrace apocalyptic beliefs. |
-What do beliefs have to do with earthquakes? | I said, groping for a sense of balance—of
-Unrestrained nuclear testing, sapping the earth of its tectonic lubricant, leveling forests
that clean the air and keep the earth in place, draining marshlands that filter water. Shall I go
-Why choose me? | I tried to say as a demand, but it warbled.
-Give me a moment; Saa-ra is here. |
I had time enough only to wet my dry mouth with ice water, before Bonnie‘s eerie gaze of
fire and steel welded my ass to the chair.
-Unrecognized and unchecked, | she said, flatly, -generations of mankind have condensed
and assimilated their capacity for malice and horror to the degree that a man born in the grace of
infinite love, and raised with boundless clemency, blithely participated in the madness. You
chose this path to become a great grandchild of the Somme, a grandson of Normandy, and a
child of Vietnam, to maul your beautiful spirit in the chaos of your times. You have seen the end
and you have become it. Now, as nations lead their children down the path of ruin the
momentum of their egomaniacal focus is methodically killing every relationship they have in and
to your world, just as you do. A crucial lesson you all must, and will soon embrace as your own