expression, she said, “Leading us to my car was no accident. You thought you had options, just
like you did when the rolling force of Phillip’s intentions brought you to Vancouver.” She leaned
back. “Telling you to take charge was Saa-ra’s idea, and an act of faith for me to trust that things
would work out.”
“Uh huh,” I said, appreciating the cleverness with which Bonnie had clad the simple
coincidence. She breathed deeply, and seemed to be content to let the sleeping dog lie.
Days later, I turned into Bonnie’s driveway to pick her up for a rare dinner out, a gift from a
client we had both worked with, when the evening view across the inlet between her house and
her neighbour’s shrubbery reminded me of a particularly beautiful part of Lebanon, possibly
because it wasn’t on fire. The incongruity of those remarkably hospitable people turning their
nation into rubble saturated my mind like repressed sorrow cresting the dam of denial, disturbing
quandaries that had rippled beneath my peace of mind for months. Not the least of these was her
general state of sanity, a thought prompted by why an otherwise intelligent person would
continue to view Josh as a potential partner. Nothing personal, just that the incongruity was
staggering. Somehow, I did not apply this thinking to me.
I tapped on the side door and let myself in, forcing a jaunty, “Ready to go?”
"Ready,” Bonnie said, over the sound of bi-fold doors sliding through tracks. “Kha-lib
just...”
“Hold on—it’s normal time,” I interrupted her as I climbed the stairs.
“Pardon me?” Her voiced floated hollow out of the hallway closet.
“We fed the brain all morning. It’s time to digest things, literally,” I said, reaching the top
landing as Bonnie came out from behind the door with one sleeve stalled halfway up her arm.
Misinterpreting her stance, I stepped forward to help her on with her coat, but she froze her pose
leaving me holding one shoulder of the garment as if I was dressing a mannequin.
“You use love as a weapon to manipulate people according to your moods,“ she said, flatly,
“I'll survive without your affection if need be, but I have no intention of changing who I am for
anyone.”
"Sorry if it came out wrong,” I said, letting go and taking a step back. “You know
diplomacy isn't my strong suit.” I grinned crookedly.
“That’s because you never stayed long enough to develop it with anyone who disagreed
with you, and there was nothing inadvertent about your remark. It was calculated to see if I care
more about keeping your company than I do about speaking my mind.”
“We’ve established that I’m not a strategic thinker.” I cocked my head.
“Thinking has nothing to do with it,” Bonnie said, continuing her serene assault. “Your
predisposition is to manipulate social exchanges so that you can tell people how to act while
establishing the terms of a treaty before a hostile word is even spoken.”
Caught in the undertow of whatever was really on her mind, I thought the only safe escape
was to go with the flow until I could edge my way out of her current focus. Giving her comment
a moment’s thought, I said, “I think that’s how everyone negotiates relationships. Our tone and
facial expressions are essentially saying, “This is what I’m like. If you don’t like it, we can each
move on. If you do, we can take the next step.”
