Stalking the Average Man
-What other knowings have you had? | Bonnie said, apparently not appreciating my sense
of fair play.
To further substantiate my view that anticipating knowings would demand that one ha ve a
definitive way of distinguishing them from speculation, I said, -I had one after my father had a
heart attack. He had been in the hospital for six weeks when my mother said he would be coming
home the next Saturday. I knew he wouldn't. |
-What did you do in the moment of receiving that information? |
-I made the mistake of saying that he‘d die, with the certainty that I felt. I think Mom
wondered whether I wanted him dead. |
-He died? |
-When else did you experience knowings? |
-None, | I said, shaking my head after faking a brief search.
-There are more, but you chose to forget them because you couldn't explain their source, or
defend their validity without risking ridicule. Maybe subconsciously yo u believed you were the
cause of some events, so you banished their memory, but their effects are still with you. | Bonnie
winked. -It would explain why you didn‘t acknowledge having the experience when we first
-I don‘t think… | a stark picture popping into my mind shut my mouth.
-Don‘t tell me nothing just high jacked your thoughts, | Bonnie chortled.
-It has nothing to do with knowing things. |
Slowing our pace with a gentle hand on my forearm, she said, -What do you think just
happened? | She drew a deep breath. -Again, the experiences student‘s can have when they‘re
with a teacher are a consequence of them gathering energy through their own efforts, and of the
teacher lending the student some of theirs. There‘s nothing to argue about; it‘s the way it is, so
you might as well go with it. We can talk about the process later, and where it fits in our work,
but these events are not random. Now is the time to explore what just happened. |
Shaking my head over these befuddling intrusions, and how Bonnie jumped on them as if
our roles were real, I told her the flash was about the famine in Ethiopia: a World Vision plane
had flown us to the foot of some mountains where other employees drove us up to a feeding
station, seven thousand feet above sea level. Cresting the final rise, my eyes were taken hostage
by a foliage-free moonscape filled with starving people portentously shrouded in the steely haze
of campfire smoke and ground fog. Dumbfounded, I got out of our warm vehicle, a cacophony of
pneumonic coughs besieged my ears, and with embarrassing volume I exclaimed, -This cannot
-Which, | I quickly told Bonnie, -had nothing to do with a knowing. |
She nudged me to the side of the path: an acute gaze, designed to compel my unconditional
surrender, caused me to step back against a chain link fence.
-Your feelings were whispered directions to keep you safely on the path of your destiny.
You didn't understand this because the point of having those experiences was to avoid proving
them accurate. Each of those incidents was a sign of Spirit‘s presence in your life, to the point of
them speaking directly to and through you in Africa. |
I didn‘t bite. -The point we‘re discussing is that having too many knowings undermines
their validity. |
-If you had learned to trust your feelings, like I did, | she said, taking a step back as I
moved around her, -you would have no doubt about knowing, even if they arrived by the truck