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Stalking Vol 2 The Bridge of Reason

"Still with you—is this the point when our personality is set, and we begin adopting our
predominant flaws?"
"Which are what?"
"Pardon me?’
"You said you are still with me, so you can either intend to know them, or you can shift your
assemblage point to the spot where that conversation took place. Try not to recall the
conversation in conventional terms; you naturally use intending well, you just don’t know that
you do."
Knowing better than to doubt her, I said, "Give me a second." I closed my eye s sought the
conversation as an intention, not an ongoing effort, then following her instructions I waited
quietly… unconventionally. Soon recalling the beginnings of that conversation, I trusted more
would be there when my mouth got to it, and I said, "The pious assess nothing, but claim to
understand everything, the bigot is always right because he ignores what he doesn’t understand,
and the obsessed are pretty much ping-pong decision makers."
"Hold that position, now explain the translation process for the development of any belief."
Still with my eyes closed, I whispered, "What the fuck."
Bonnie tittered.
A moment later I found my starting point; it also filled out as I spoke.
"I am a translation of energy that translated familiar energetic concepts into unfamiliar
physical laws about my new existence, which my experiences transformed into a way to
apprehending my new place. That way is called reason, which also made sense out my early
experiences before explanations began to conform them to accept other meanings."
"An example of an early event would be what?"
"Shaking me as a baby would scare me, and maybe create pain, so I’d cry more. As I grow,
and learn that fear and pain are how grownups who love me, also teach me, the shaking would
have taught me to shake my own kids to make the point that, although I love them, crying isn’t
acceptable." The impact of this idea settled in. "No wonder we’re all so fucked up," I said,
coming out of my rhythm. "This," I said, waving my arm to encompass the visible world, "is the
Tower of Babel!"
"You might have intuited the origins of that myth: what is the essence of the act you
"It is certainly that; what is the nature of the damage?"
I saw how the abused child’s views had been skewed by the experience, but I didn’t know
how to articulate it; this is what I told Bonnie.
"Their consensus reasoning has been altered to include brutality as an acceptable personal
practice, at the level of an unconsidered assumption. This will rob them of the comfort tha t
comes with growing up feeling safe, and that they fit in. In the same way, sexual abuse is a
heinous cruelty that deforms one’s reason toward accepting aberrations that are passed on,
robbing victims of a normal developmental path for generations. By the way, you’re headed for a
lesson in appreciating that particular disgrace."
"Why is that?’ I said perplexed.
"You are a person of energy. As such, what you say and do programs what you need to
experience… kiddy-diddlers?" she said.
Not fully understanding her, but nodding uncomfortably I said, "I have a question.
Yesterday, you said I was the first to be rescued."