"We will deal with that aspect of your training in your dreaming
lessons. The point is that you represent the many who struggle through
reason to express their hearts. It is beyond their grasp how poorly they
can behave. Now you know what it is like, and you can free yourself
because you can recognize fear in its infancy and dismiss it."
The man pointed toward Bonnie as she settled into a dream state.
"Yesterday, she learned that you will enter the third core of your training
on perpetual guard and afraid of what she might say, because on the best
of nights you will go to bed baffled to the bone."
"And on the worst?"
"That is up to you. She is not without empathy for your plight, for she
has endured your lessons as well as her own," he pointed at Bonnie, "and
now wept the last of her personal concern for you. She will no longer
barter with the truth. None of us do, not with anyone, not ever. It will be
the way things are in her waking world, and a lesson you cannot avoid,
now that you have begun losing the human form." He glanced my
way."She will pursue your freedom with unwavering intent."
"She bartered? I know something happened… with Josh?"
"She will tell you when it is time."
"I hear that a lot from you guys. Who are you, by the way?"
"Another portion of you, a portion that is now part of you, knew me
as Joshua. This inner knowledge will sustain you for a while longer, and
rise when it is time." He nodded toward the images."We will also show
you to yourself directly, when it is required, and offer what help we can
without interfering with your chosen path of progression."
I followed his gaze as the images swirled gently into a single
depiction of Bonnie and me driving in a small red car. A road sign passed
through the passenger side window.
Salida, 3 kilómetros.
I awakened thinking pleasant thoughts about my time in Spain, but
they were fouled by a sense of apprehension; I remembered most of my
dream, just not why I should be on edge about it.
I got up and steeled myself for another verbal beating while
showering, flippantly concluding, as I dried myself, that the worst that
could happen was what—maybe dying? Been there, done that. I had the T-
shirt.
I cackled: Somehow, it wasn‘t as funny as it once was.
