See Jack Die (PART 3)
Never mind all that, I say, trying to get him the hell out of there before he starts asking questions
that my masculinity may not be able to answer.
He leans his head back, looking at the soaps one last time, and I know that there is a question
forming in his mind.
Let's check on the book, I say.
He nods slowly, and I'm certain that this won't be the last of the aromatherapy soap inquisition.
We head back into the living room, and over near my bed. He unlocks the safe and, cozy as can be,
the Book of Sighs is sitting there with several pages of my handwritten notes on top. He takes out the
notes and closes the safe.
“So, what have we got?” Ricky says as he sits down on the bed and shuffles through the pages.
“Where is this Book of Sorrows?”
Last few pages in the pile, I instruct him.
And then I watch as he finds the pages and sets the others aside. He leans forward and begins
reading, whispering as he goes through each verse. Occasionally he looks up at me, as I pace back and
forth. But mostly he's just mouthing the text.
While he's reading, I walk slowly from the living room, down the short hallway, make a slow 3-
point turn, and then amble back. I'm taking those elongated steps where you let the weight of your body
shift at its own pace from left to right. I feel like a soldier marching in one of those parades, although
much slower. My left foot falls to the carpet, then my right.
And I continued doing this as I think about everything that's happened in the last few hours. Ricky
and I, neither of us has discussed the death of my caseworker. It's a taboo subject for the meantime. I
think we'll probably talk about it after he finishes reading my notes. As a matter of fact, I'm certain we
The chapter—I'm sorry, the book of Sorrows—deals with the other side, and the kinds of things you
will encounter when you get there. It's like being at a museum and getting a pamphlet that describes the
interior of some old battlefield. Or, at the aquarium, where they have all those placards about the
different sharks you may see.
The book of Sorrows, it must have been something that Constantine and his people wanted kept
secret, because it's not the kind of thing a religious person would expect to be presented with. I'm not
even religious, and it rocks my faith a little.