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Reprinted Pieces

'Births. Mrs. Meek, of a Son
MY name is Meek. I am, in fact, Mr. Meek. That son is mine and Mrs. Meek's. When I
saw the announcement in the Times, I dropped the paper. I had put it in, myself, and
paid for it, but it looked so noble that it overpowered me.
As soon as I could compose my feelings, I took the paper up to Mrs. Meek's bedside.
'Maria Jane,' said I (I allude to Mrs. Meek), 'you are now a public character.' We read
the review of our child, several times, with feelings of the strongest emotion; and I sent
the boy who cleans the boots and shoes, to the office for fifteen copies. No reduction
was made on taking that quantity.
It is scarcely necessary for me to say, that our child had been expected. In fact, it had
been expected, with comparative confidence, for some months. Mrs. Meek's mother,
who resides with us - of the name of Bigby - had made every preparation for its
admission to our circle.
I hope and believe I am a quiet man. I will go farther. I KNOW I am a quiet man. My
constitution is tremulous, my voice was never loud, and, in point of stature, I have been
from infancy, small. I have the greatest respect for Maria Jane's Mama. She is a most
remarkable woman. I honour Maria Jane's Mama. In my opinion she would storm a
town, single-handed, with a hearth-broom, and carry it. I have never known her to yield
any point whatever, to mortal man. She is calculated to terrify the stoutest heart.
Still - but I will not anticipate.
The first intimation I had, of any preparations being in progress, on the part of Maria
Jane's Mama, was one afternoon, several months ago. I came home earlier than usual
from the office, and, proceeding into the dining-room, found an obstruction behind the
door, which prevented it from opening freely. It was an obstruction of a soft nature. On
looking in, I found it to be a female.
The female in question stood in the corner behind the door, consuming Sherry Wine.
From the nutty smell of that beverage pervading the apartment, I have no doubt she
was consuming a second glassful. She wore a black bonnet of large dimensions, and
was copious in figure. The expression of her countenance was severe and
discontented. The words to which she gave utterance on seeing me, were these, 'Oh,
git along with you, Sir, if YOU please; me and Mrs. Bigby don't want no male parties
here!'
That female was Mrs. Prodgit.
 
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