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Renegade Robot


problem with the self- generating helpbots originally designed by
Western Lightwave. Randy especially liked to claim he'd seen it
coming all along, proof positive to him that nothing good ever
came out of California. He was a short, fat loudmouth from The
South who sported a sweaty fu manchu mustache and a prized
Esso t-shirt most days of the week. His compadre Hazel was
equally matched in stature and stoutness, and did her best to keep
up with his vocal volume as well. A lot of people assumed they
were married or siblings or both, but nobody knew for sure. They
would come screaming up in the liquid-deathmobile first thing
before sunrise, hoses clanging and dangling off every side of the
bright blue tanker truck, blaring the horn and broadcasting to the
whole block that 'lazy bones lorenzo better get his scrawny ass in
gear or it was gonna cost him sure enough'. More times than not,
Wyatt made sure he was out there on the remains of the sidewalk
before they could pull that stunt.
The final member of the team was his impossibly tall skinny
friend, Jalopy. With his six foot nine inch bony frame, his pink
shades, camouflage coat, khaki shorts and high top sneakers, he
was the opposite of incognito. Jalopy was surprisingly quiet,
though. You had to listen closely to pick up any of his
conversational tidbits. So it was mostly Randy and Hazel making
all the noise as the tanker patrolled its officially suspect areas five
days a week from dawn till noon. The team was tasked with the
easement, as they called it, of any reprobate or otherwise
retrograde Class A, B or C type IMA’s (intelligent mechanical
assistants). It was everything a morbid cynic could dream o f.
Unfortunately for him, Wyatt was neither. He was merely a
dreamer and a drifter who found himself wherever he happened to
go. Jalopy was like that, too, and both also shared an ability to
take orders and follow instructions, and so the team generally
functioned well enough. The two leaders sat up front in the cab,
amusing each other by mocking the two followers, who clung to
the back like garbage men, enjoying the wind in their hair and the
thrill of life in the great outdoors. Wyatt and Jalopy, when the y
mutually emerged from their daydreams simultaneously, would
sometimes flash the goofiest grins at each other and laugh like
maniacs.
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