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home from sheer exhaustion. I remember taking out my motorcycle during the week on
those hot summer nights. Smoke a few joints, a lap or two around Central Park, and it’s
back to your apartmenta cheap date and good company for the subway ride to work the
next morning. If you wanted, you could perform this scene three or four times a week
with different ladies.
Back in the office, things were going very well, I was promoted from the job of Junior
Budget Analyst to Assistant to the Administrative Manager of the Mail Marketing
Division. We were a mail order company that contracted with oil companies for their
mailing lists. It was my job to handle all the accounts payable and perform administrative
duties. The only thing that was more insurmountable than all the bullshit around there
was the money that went to pay for it. When you see, hear and read about all of these
mail order goodies to buy, chances are there’s a bunch of inexperienced and incompetent
people experimenting with their and your livelihoods. A lot of the products they are
selling are untried and untested, as their only concern is middle-manning a buck. Many,
many times, shipping and handling charges are determined arbitrarilypicking figures
that sound good for a sales presentation or format.
As I looked around the company for its leaders who I could learn from and aspire to, I
found myself in a continual state of search. I was a junior executive, one step from being
able to dine in the executive dining room for free, what status! All men are basically the
same, but if you give some of them a free lunch and a nice office in a posh environment,
he might feel that this little edge over his co-workers can be called success and his innate
desires turn into anxieties that well eke away at him for the rest of his life. It’s like we’re
all riding on this big ship: those who have been on board the longest have hopefully
found their security within the ship’s confines; they can only have faith or trust the ship is
heading in the right direction and everyone’s attention is on the Captain. In a corporation,
the Chairman of the Board or President is totally inaccessible to all but a few of his
employees. Do we know his needs and most important, does he know ours?
When you get your job, you’re so impressed with the fringe benefits and the wonderful
retirement programs, the warrior within you becomes passive as you let your guard down.
With your new company looking out for you, you begin to look elsewhere and that’s
where the trouble begins. This is where your life takes on an unnatural presence. In such
a typical office scenario, you are usually at the mercy of your supervisor’s mood. If
everything is OK at home, chances are you’ll make it through the day, but if he’s got
problems, he’ll vent them your way. If that doesn’t seem bad enough, you start thinking
about your retirement and what kind of a stoolie you’re going to turn into. I remember
one of my female co-workers with a BA degree called the Vice President of our section
by his first name and then had to endure a humiliating lecture in front of all of us.
The corporation turns into a massive entity that can only see and move in one direction,
towards the black ink. By its own nature, it must pursue this direction to maintain and
ensure its own existence. A corporation with a conscience is in actuality,
. If only the bottom line was the total amount of goods supplied and services
performed for the benefit of the people, rather than the amount of dollars that are being