Pamela or Virtue Rewarded
You and my good father may wonder you have not had a letter from me in so many
weeks; but a sad, sad scene, has been the occasion of it. For to be sure, now it is
too plain, that all your cautions were well grounded. O my dear mother! I am
miserable, truly miserable!--But yet, don't be frightened, I am honest!--God, of his
goodness, keep me so!
O this angel of a master! this fine gentleman! this gracious benefactor to your poor
Pamela! who was to take care of me at the prayer of his good dying mother; who
was so apprehensive for me, lest I should be drawn in by Lord Davers's nephew,
that he would not let me go to Lady Davers's: This very gentleman (yes, I must call
him gentleman, though he has fallen from the merit of that title) has degraded
himself to offer freedoms to his poor servant! He has now shewed himself in his true
colours; and, to me, nothing appear so black, and so frightful.
I have not been idle; but had writ from time to time, how he, by sly mean degrees,
exposed his wicked views; but somebody stole my letter, and I know not what has
become of it. It was a very long one. I fear, he that was mean enough to do bad
things, in one respect, did not stick at this. But be it as it will, all the use he can make
of it will be, that he may be ashamed of his part; I not of mine: for he will see I was
resolved to be virtuous, and gloried in the honesty of my poor parents.
I will tell you all, the next opportunity; for I am watched very narrowly; and he says to
Mrs. Jervis, This girl is always scribbling; I think she may be better employed. And
yet I work all hours with my needle, upon his linen, and the fine linen of the family;
and am, besides, about flowering him a waistcoat.--But, oh! my heart's broke almost;
for what am I likely to have for my reward, but shame and disgrace, or else ill words,
and hard treatment! I'll tell you all soon, and hope I shall find my long letter.
Your most afflicted DAUGHTER.
May-be, I he and him too much: but it is his own fault if I do. For why did he lose all
his dignity with me?