site and, they have a beach. Millom however has a great erm, ‘used car trade’, because, well, as it is on a
pinnacle and if you break down? Your mobile won’t work there … (I may be joking).
Worry not about the massive spaceship hanging above the town these days, that’s a Wi Fi satellite.
Actually they were offered one but, that would have ruined the local economy. You see, visitors to Millom are
what are called “accidental tourists” and, the locals, who are bored, just can’t help themselves to the booty. The
visitors disappear. Actually they’re kept in the crypts of St Georges Church (that’s the spire you can see from
miles away) and, taken out as and when needed by the Reverend Joe … you’ll meet him later … usually to
clean his shoes or mop the church floor. Visitors DO NOT fear falling off the edge of the world there although;
if they go fishing down the ‘Port’ they may fall over the edge into the tide.
Fascinating Fact:
The pier/Port was the final resting place for a warship, the Aurora …
That’s not Millom but, that lady … her name is Aurora Shipshape (coincidence?) …
I could always imagine when I stood by the ship, some of the local lads and lasses from the ‘bottom end’
of town, swinging the big gun round towards Barrow and loosing off a few rounds; how cool would that have
been? Maybe that’s why they remove them before delivering the boat for scrapping. So, even if someone tries to
fall of the end of the world, they may be sadly disappointed as they bang their head on the side of the ship.
Each time I go up … my mother (technically) is busy outliving everybody, I notice that probably due to
lack of funds, or interest, the pub signs are missing some letters. That’s ok, because “The oyal” or, the scientific
pub “The Red ion” merely supports the elderly’s open air countdown game; I think at last count they had three
vowels and five consonants.
Look out! Now everyone’s at it.
