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Mike's Australia


A mate of mine (whose name I can't remember) had this spiel about a young larrikin
who stole the school bus and went hooning with a mob of young sheilas . They
wagged off down to the creek where he tried to impress the girls by burning rubber.
The stupid galah was wearing thongs and got one stuck under the pedal. He lost
control. The bus left the bitumen. He swerved to avoid a mob of cattle and ended up
in a billabong. The grazier, who was droving the beasts, jumped in to rescue the kids.
The poor bastard got a wog from the dirty water and he's now so crook he's confined
to the station and spends half his time in the dunny.
16 FAQ (army grub)
Questions are frequently asked about the food served to soldiers serving in the
Australian armed forces:
Q. Is it true the Australian army serves white ants to its soldiers?
A. No . The boys are expected to catch them for themselves.
Q. Do the soldiers really eat ants?
A. Only when they're hungry.
Q. Is it true they cook the ants on top of their tanks?
A. No . They cook eggs on their tanks. The metal gets so hot in the sun that you
can fry things on it. That saves fuel and is good for the environment.
Q. Why doesn't the army provide proper ration packs for its soldiers then they
wouldn't have to eat ants?
A. The correct name is termite and they're good tucker.
Q. What is tucker?
A. Grub.
Q. Why are termites good tucker?
A. The pupae are packed full of protein and tha t's what you eat.
Q. When do the soldiers eat termites?
A. When they are living off the land.
Q. What's wrong with kangaroos?
A. Nothing ... if you can catch one.
Q. But termites are small ...
A. See below.
Individual termites are small but the colonies are big. When you look out over the
Australian bush and see gigantic termite mounds, think of each mound as representing
a cow or bull. That's about the quantity of protein they contain.
 
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