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Martin Chuzzlewit

Chapter 16
MARTIN DISEMBARKS FROM THAT NOBLE AND FAST-SAILING LINE-OF-
PACKET SHIP, 'THE SCREW', AT THE PORT OF NEW YORK, IN THE UNITED
STATES OF AMERICA. HE MAKES SOME ACQUAINTANCES, AND DINES AT
A BOARDING- HOUSE. THE PARTICULARS OF THOSE TRANSACTIONS
Some trifling excitement prevailed upon the very brink and margin of the land of
liberty; for an alderman had been elected the day before; and Party Feeling
naturally running rather high on such an exciting occasion, the friends of the
disappointed candidate had found it necessary to assert the great principles of
Purity of Election and Freedom of opinion by breaking a few legs and arms, and
furthermore pursuing one obnoxious gentleman through the streets with the
design of hitting his nose. These good-humoured little outbursts of the popular
fancy were not in themselves sufficiently remarkable to create any great stir, after
the lapse of a whole night; but they found fresh life and notoriety in the breath of
the newsboys, who not only proclaimed them with shrill yells in all the highways
and byways of the town, upon the wharves and among the shipping, but on the
deck and down in the cabins of the steamboat; which, before she touched the
shore, was boarded and overrun by a legion of those young citizens.
'Here's this morning's New York Sewer!' cried one. 'Here's this morning's New
York Stabber! Here's the New York Family Spy! Here's the New York Private
Listener! Here's the New York Peeper! Here's the New York Plunderer! Here's
the New York Keyhole Reporter! Here's the New York Rowdy Journal! Here's all
the New York papers! Here's full particulars of the patriotic locofoco movement
yesterday, in which the whigs was so chawed up; and the last Alabama gouging
case; and the interesting Arkansas dooel with Bowie knives; and all the Political,
Commercial, and Fashionable News. Here they are! Here they are! Here's the
papers, here's the papers!'
'Here's the Sewer!' cried another. 'Here's the New York Sewer! Here's some of
the twelfth thousand of to-day's Sewer, with the best accounts of the markets,
and all the shipping news, and four whole columns of country correspondence,
and a full account of the Ball at Mrs White's last night, where all the beauty and
fashion of New York was assembled; with the Sewer's own particulars of the
private lives of all the ladies that was there! Here's the Sewer! Here's some of the
twelfth thousand of the New York Sewer! Here's the Sewer's exposure of the
Wall Street Gang, and the Sewer's exposure of the Washington Gang, and the
Sewer's exclusive account of a flagrant act of dishonesty committed by the
Secretary of State when he was eight years old; now communicated, at a great
expense, by his own nurse. Here's the Sewer! Here's the New York Sewer, in its
twelfth thousand, with a whole column of New Yorkers to be shown up, and all
their names printed! Here's the Sewer's article upon the Judge that tried him, day
afore yesterday, for libel, and the Sewer's tribute to the independent Jury that
didn't convict him, and the Sewer's account of what they might have expected if
they had! Here's the Sewer, here's the Sewer! Here's the wide-awake Sewer;
 
 
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