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Lucid Dream I

I have medical and accidental insurances, which will take care of my bills if I end up disabled or sick anytime in life.
And there is no person that will look up to me in case of an emergency.
Family, yeah I have heard that word somewhere.
A dad who left my mother before my birth and never came back for me, giving me a feeling that I was born to a virgin mother
just likeChristdoesn’toughttocountforafamily
ndamotherwhopaidforasinwhichshedidn’tatoneinthefirstplacewasleftwithmeasareminderofherfailedarranged
marriage, though she happily accepted it and gave
21 years to more than just feed me. Three years ago she did what she must have done a long ago. Remarriage.
Paul is a nice guy. He has a son from a previous marriage. His ex wife died of cancer and it surely took him a long time to
overcome despair.
They look like a happy family to me.
But even if my mother wants me to be, I am not a part of it.
I stay away from her on purpose. I am just a reminder of a tragedy that costed her, her youth. She deserves better.
FriendsIdon’thaveanddon’tneedThewholepointofstayingneartowork is to escape any contact with the world that
exists outside home and this hospital.
IamnotsocialIhavetriedtogooutfordrinksordinnerwithworkcolleaguessometimesbutitdoesn’twork
Though I am a psychiatrist but I have failed to cure my mood disorders. The transitory blues lead to prolonged depression
when I am out of home except for work. I know it is an
illness.
I am taking medication for it.
Butthatdoesn’tmakemesimilartoTylerStewartinanyways
I am ill, I am not insane.
Thefirstquestionheaskedmeechoedagaininmymind“WhymustIlivedoctor?”
I irritated picked up my bag, turned off the light and walked out into the helter skelter of the world.
The corridor was overflowing with people, even at this hour of the day. Each eye was on the Led displays flashing the numbers
in the queue.
I offered to work extra hours to take off some burden from the evening doctors but my application was declined. Though the
medical practitioners are exempted from the labor
standard hours of work but the people above doubted my evenhandedness to patients after 7 in the evening or after a 12
hours shift.
But they are considering using me for evening shifts in near future.
It’sthebusiesttimeoftheday
An extensive darkness, an eccentric seclusion and everything except for peace is not just my idea of a night.
PeaceIsn’titastrangeword?
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