5) Pattern Detection
Observing a refrain of activities that suggests a structured approach in a coachee's responses and specifying that structure in terms of an outline, template, or metaphor.
5 Testing and Validating Structure
Asking complex meta-questions that unite numerous patterns, Matrix questions that invites systemic thinking, that describes the flow of information and energy through the mind-body system.
Presenting the structure back to the coachee and testing its validity with the coachee.
4 Eliciting Unique Structure
Asking meta-questions around refrains that seem unique (or idiosyncratic) to the coachee, presenting such to the coachee with little testing of it.
3 Eliciting Formalized Structures/Models
Asking meta-questions that seek to flush out formalized structures and models, Meta-Model questions, Meta-Program questions, Meta-State Question, SCORE, etc.
2 Simple Meta-Questions
Asking some simple meta-questions around repeated themes or refrains. Using some simple models as templates or patterns to understand experience.
48
1 Primary Questions About Content
Asking only primary level questions about content and details, no exploration of any pattern.
0 Caught in Content
"Caught up in content" as indicated by asking only content questions about details, telling stories about similar incidents, or advice giving.
6) Tracking a coachee
Paying attention to the structural form and processes of a coachee's response and recording that journey on paper using words, decision tree, diagrams, a mind-map, or keeping it in one's mind and being able to replicate it.
5 Elegant use of the tracking methods evidenced by coachee wanting the diagrams, mind-maps, etc. to use to enhance the session, the coachee co-creating with the coach the tracking or asking about it.
4 Very effective use of diagrams and tracking methods, inviting coachee to see, respond to them, asking how the process relates to outcomes of coaching.
3 Keeping good notes using various forms, referring to the notes to invite coachee to stay focused and on topic.
2 Jotting a few notes down, or referring to a mind-map or diagram of some sort. More awareness as reflected in statements about such.
1 Some awareness of the need and importance of tracking, asking
"Where are we?" "How does that relate to...?" "I should have tracked that."
0 No record keeping, no mentioning of the mental-emotional journey of coachee, where he or she went during process.
49
1.4.7.4 SCALING OF ESSENTIAL CORE SKILLS OF COACHING
http://www.metacoachfoundation.org
Scale the following 7 Essential Core Skills of Coaching on a scale from 0 to 5: Active Attentive Listening; Support: Rapport, Presence; Quality Questioning; Meta-Questioning; Giving Feedback Receiving Feedback; Eliciting States .
Individuals who have acheived the ACMC Credential have been benchmarked and demonstrated competency in all 7 of these Essential Coaching Skills.
1) Listening:
Being actively present to a coachee, collecting and synthesizing the sensory information (visual, auditory, and kinesthetic) as well as non-sensory specific terms so as to accurately reflect back the content presented as well as process information.
5 Mostly Quiet,
Speaking less than 30% of the time, ideally 5% to 10%. Turning body to coachee to be fully physically present to the coachee, acknowledging the communication by maintaining eye contact, using soft "sparkling eyes," head nodding, and encouragers. Asking about what is not being said. Asking questions that invite coachee to co-create more questions or awareness of mental and emotional structures and resources, coachee talking extensively and then saying, "I never thought of any of this before you asked about it."
4 Probing, 60% Quiet
Asking questions that probe for more details about coachee's view of things, inviting coachee to self-listen ("Did you hear what you just said?") to increase awareness of what's "in the back of the mind,"
giving space and time for person to be with those thoughts and feelings, being silent as the coachee speaks 60% or more of the time, supporting coachee (See Supporting). Ask lots of awareness 50
questions about patterns, "How aware are you that you have said lots of things about X, but nothing about Y?"
3 Repeating words, 50% Quiet
Actively exploring the structure and content by using questions that ask about form, using more body language of head nodding to encourage coachee to speak, using "encouragers" such as sounds,
"hmmm," "ahhh," "yes, go ahead," "say more." Using extended silences and pauses so coachee speaks at least 50% of the time.
2 Less Paraphrasing, more Repeating, 40% Quiet Eye contact regular, repeating back specific words and some paraphrasing that matches coachee's content, speaking 60% or more of the time and quiet only 40% of time, giving little time for coachee to speak.
1 Some Eye Contact/ Body Contact
Making some eye contact, paraphrasing the coachee's sentences, only partially keeping general track of the content. "Where are we?"
Taking notes on other things than coachee's statements and eyes internally processing while coachee speaks. [If eye contact means something other than listening and respect in a given culture, then turning body toward coachee or equivalent.]
0 Telling and Interrupting
No evidence of being present to coachee as indicated by no eye contract, no tracking of content, of what is being said, talking over, telling, teaching, making evaluations, and interrupting.
51
2) Supporting:
Providing a sense of safety to coachee through questioning, listening, celebrating, expression affirmations of belief in and trust in the coachee, through managing environment, and the conversation.
5 At level of "person"
Stating one's own concerns and emotions of support with a coachee, expressing a willingness to invest in the other's well-being and resourcefulness in support of the coachee's outcomes and agendas,
"I'm here for you," "Use the coaching call between sessions when you need to."
4 Invite coachee to apply own resources
Responding to coachee's emotion with one's own that pace, respectfully exploring, inviting the coachee to access and apply own resources to situation, offering statements of affirmation that conveys belief in the person's potentials, celebrating and cheer-leading coachee's successes, pacing meta-programs, meta-states, concepts, and values.
3 Actively Present, asking about emotions
Actively and intently listening, asking about emotions, investing energy into conversation and managing the environment so that it enables coachee to stay focused, summarizing, offering some physical response such as putting hand on shoulder, "That must have been challenging." Matching & Mirroring: pacing posture, breath, gesture, etc. Words, sounds that encourage to continue: "yes, and then?" "Hmmm," "ahhhh!"
2 Only partial match and mirroring
Partially matching coachee's words, posture, breathing, etc., listening for facts, details, ideas, failure to fully match output of other's gestures and non-verbal expressions.
52
1 Fiddling
Listening with no or little eye-contact, fiddling with other things, failing to follow up statements expressing emotion, seemingly preoccupied with other things. Little or no attention to context and atmosphere to deal with noises, distractions, etc.
0 Impatience
Indicates of little interest: failing to track the content, repeatedly asking "What did you just say?", firing off questions without time to respond. Interrupting. Making statements of judgment, evaluation, blame and interpretations.
3) Questioning:
Asking a person to turn reflect inwardly to respond with ideas, answers, resources, and solutions, inquiring about the coachee's world of ideas, beliefs, frames, goals, etc.
5 Creating Movement
Asking that frames and explores structure, that challenges in a personal and intimate way, that creates forward movement, that the coachee evaluates as getting to the heart of things.
4 Inviting Higher Awareness
Asking that invites awareness and meta-awareness, that puts coachee at a choice, that produces energy for finding solutions, inviting coachee to be solution-focused, collaborative, and playful.
3 Open Ended Questions
Asking that invites a search without a prescribed end, asking for information in an open-ended way so there's no wrong answer ("How do you best like to relax?"), to elicit relevant and pertinent answers, that shifts attention to what's productive for moving toward outcome.
53
2 Leading Questions
Asking questions that lead to prescribe answer ("Don't you want to handle this situation using X ?") so that coachee either feels controlled and dominated in the conversation, or begins resisting the question and not playing the conversation coaching game.
1 Closed Questions
Asking closed-ended questions, rhetorical questions, and "nosy"
questions about irrelevant details and content.
0 Telling and Advice-Giving
Telling, storytelling, and giving of personal judgments, no questioning.
4) Meta-Questioning:
Asking question about previous questions, asking about one's mind-body states and about higher level states of awareness. Meta-Questioning invites a coachee to explore higher frames of mind, that is, thoughts and feelings about thoughts and feelings.
5 FBI-Frame By Implication
Asking richly layered frame by implication (FBI) questions (loaded with lots of presuppositions) which facilitate a paradigm shift for coachee. Using language patterns that have layers of phrases that presuppose the coachee's values, outcomes, best dreams and which elicit the most relevant states, "How surprised will you be this next week when you find yourself using this new frame so that you stay comfortable and yet excited as you make that presentation, just how much will that fit into your primary goal, and how much will that enrich your sense of self?" FBI questions have significant effect.
54
4 Complex Meta-Questions with significant effect Asking complex meta-questions relevant to KPI with significant effect for the coachee. "What does it mean now that you have made this decision; how will that affect your sense of self from now on?"
3 Simple Meta-Questions
Asking 10 or more (per 30 minute session) of simple meta-questions; delivered in matter-of-fact manner, directly and congruently, coachee responds with some effect.
2 6 or less Meta-Questions
Asking simple meta-questions that may be delivered with hesitation, without congruence, too quickly, etc. so coachee is confused. "What do you feel about that?" "About what? What are you talking about?"
1 Non-relevant
Asking meta-questions that do not have anything to do with the coachee's outcomes "What do you believe about dogs?"
0 Primary Level
Asking only primary state questions, or failing to ask questions at all, asking only questions about objects "out there."
5) Inducing States
To say words, use metaphors, tell stories in such a way that invites another to recall or imagine a mind-body-emotional experience. To use voice and gestures in such a way that a coachee begins to think-and-feel as if in that way of thinking
and
feeling.
55
5 Amplification
Asking coachee to amplify the state and to fully experience it in breathing, walking, moving, gesturing, speaking, etc. Teasing and testing to see how much of the state the coachee is experiencing.
Amplifying it and anchoring the state for further use.
4 Leading
Speaking in metaphors, stories, using indirect methods to induce the state to layer multiple suggestions for the state. Asking coachee to be with the emotions of the state and to manifest them more fully in the body. Using a menu list of suggestive experiences that are likely to elicit the state.
3 Going First and Pacing
Speaking with a voice and using words that suggest and invite the desired state. Going into the state first and using it to invite the coachee into it, expressing it in one's voice, gesture, face, breathing, etc.
2 Some Matching and Mirroring
Asking about the state, suggesting it. Some matching and mirroring to pace the person's current state and then mentioning the desired state.
1 Facts without Pacing, Different state to Coachee Mentioning state with a monotone, or with a tone of voice that does not correspond to desired state. The coach not in the state, or in a different state (i.e., impatient when wanting to evoke patience, tired and fatigued when evoking motivation). Perhaps mentioning the state and demanding the coachee experience it. "Don't feel afraid, feel courage."
0 Ignoring State, Incongruence
No mention of one's state, let alone of the desired state, monotone use of voice, no use of tone, tempo, or story that corresponds to the state or outcome of the coachee.
56
6) Giving Feedback:
Saying words with the support of gestures, movements, voice tone, etc. that both provides support and a mirroring back to the coachee of a specific behavior that leads to an improvement in performance, state, belief, etc.
5 Measured Steps
The information is delivered with measured steps for improvement, offered in a tentative way so the coachee can reflect on it, given in a way that invites responsibility, and that even excites the coachee to make even more positive changes.
4 Individualized and Balanced
Giving the sensory-based information in a way that the coachee evaluates as respectful, given in slow (patient), measured, and calm way. Information is individualized to the person, precise to his or her situation, balanced with support, and in a way that opens up new possibilities for the coachee.
3 Specific and Sensory Based
Giving specific information that is see-hear-feel so the coachee can easily recognize and acknowledge it, giving it by pacing coachee's experience, giving information that's factual, concise, succinct, relevant, and useable for moving on toward objectives.
2 Convoluted
Giving convoluted and/or vague feedback that is not sensory based in description, using one's own values and criteria about the behavior rather than the coachee's criteria. "I think you ought to really stop thinking being egocentric about that job, and develop your skills."
1 Negative
Giving feedback quickly without much thought (impatiently), without much consider about the state it would induce the coachee into, criticizing, blaming, arguing, telling, making the information 57
personal, rather than about behavior. "You're just not very good at this, are you?"
0 Withholding
Withholding any response from the coachee, judging the coachee or his or her behaviors
7) Receiving Feedback:
Hearing and asking about information that mirrors back how a response came across, taking that in, reflecting upon it, asking more questions about it, integrating what one finds useful in order to improve performance toward a desired outcome.
5 Celebrating and Implementing
Actively seeking and making comments of appreciation, celebrating the information as useful for improvement, recognizing how the sensory information suggests patterns that call for implementing a change in behavior, making plans for integrating it and enhancing one's performance.
4 Questioning and Clarifying
Questioning the information by seeking clarification, asking for more details about when, where, how, etc., reflecting upon the information and making statements about how it fits or doesn't fit. Coachee in a state of interest, curiosity, etc.
3 Acceptance and Exploration
Accepting the information by acknowledging it and exploring it, "Yes I remember doing that. What did that mean to you?" "How did that affect him?" Some exploration and clarification, but coachee generally in a neutral state or a slightly negative one with low levels of anger, fear, stress, etc.
58
2 Silent
Silent listening to feedback, seemingly pondering some of it, but asking no questions, not exploring its meaning, asking for clarification.
1 Negative
Responding to the information in a negative emotional state (anger, fear, stress, frustration, etc.) so that coachee in a reactive and defensive state, saying things that immediately defend against the information, arguing, deflecting, discounting, and disagreeing with vigor.
0 Disengaged
Disengaged to the information, refusing to listen, walking away, avoiding it and not dealing with it.
59
1.4.7.5 CORE COACHING SKILLS
1. Establishing and maintaining a relationship of trust Definition
Ensure a safe space and supportive relationship for personal growth, discovery and transformation.
Effect
1. The client is open to sharing and receiving.
2. The client perceives the coach as a personal advocate.
3. The client sees transformation and growth as manageable.
4. The client has realistic expectations of results and responsibilities of coaching.
Key Elements
1. Mutual respect and acceptance.
2. Confidence and reassurance.
3. The client feels safe to share fears without judgment from the coach.
2. Perceiving, affirming and expanding the client’s potential Definition
Recognizes and help the client acknowledge and appreciate his or her strengths and potential.
Effect
1. The client has greater appreciation of personal capabilities and potential.
2. The client is more willing to take actions beyond current paradigms or strategies.
60
Key Elements
1. Being in empathy with the client.
2. Recognizing a wider range of possibilities.
3. Encouraging and empowering the client.
4. Challenging limiting beliefs.
5. Recognizing strengths of client and awareness of where strengths support personal and organizational goals (where appropriate).
3. Engaged listening
Definition
Give full attention to the words, nuances, and the unspoken meaning of the client's communication; the coach is more deeply aware of the client, his/her concerns and the source of the issue, by listening beyond what the client is able to articulate.
Effect
1. The client feels understood and validated – not judged.
2. The client communicates more effortlessly and resourcefully.
Key Elements
1. The coach focuses on what the client expresses, both verbally and nonverbally.
2. The coach listens beyond what the client articulates.
3. The coach is alert to discrepancies between what the client is saying (words) and the client’s behavior and/or emotions.
61
4. Processing in the present
Definition
Focus full attention on the client, processing information at the level of the mind, body, heart and/or spirit, as appropriate. The coach expands the client’s awareness of how to experience thoughts and issues on these various levels, when and as appropriate. The coach utilizes what is happening in the session itself (client’s behavior, patterns, emotions, and the relationship between coach and client, etc.) to assist the client toward greater self-awareness and positive, appropriate action.
Effect
1. The client is free to express and engage with present reality.
2. The client is unencumbered by past or future preoccupations or concerns.
3. The client benefits from coaching insight and support on all levels.
4. The coach is highly attuned to subtle communications from the client.
Key Elements
1. The coach is aware of the dynamics occurring within the session, within the client, and between coach and client, and understands how the dynamics are affecting the client and the coaching.
2. The coach has a simultaneous and holistic awareness of the client’s communications at all levels.
3. The coach is able to discern whether the client is communicating from the past, present or future.
4. The coach allows the client the opportunity to process and clarify the coach’s questions and comments.
5. The coach allows the client the opportunity to process his or her own thoughts and responses.
62
5. Expressing
Definition
Attention and awareness to how the coach communicates commitment, direction, intent, and ideas – and the effectiveness of this communication.
Effect
1. The coaching interaction is enhanced with the client being at ease and trusting.
2. The client is open to understanding and/or questioning any communication from the coach.
Key Elements
1. Respect.
2. Attentiveness.
3. Client-focused.
4. Clarity.
5. Appropriateness.
6. Clarifying
Definition
Reduce/eliminate
confusion
or
uncertainty;
increase
understanding and the confidence of the client.
Effect
1. The client and the coach move forward in a more directed way.
2. Increased possibilities.
3. Decreased uncertainty.
4. Uncovering the unknown.
63
Key Elements
1. Identify the most important issue while respecting client’s preferences and limitations.
2. No judgment by the coach, no leading toward a particular destination.
3. Identify key values and needs.
4. Facilitate alignment of purpose, vision and mission.
5. Identify blocks to progress.
7. Helping the client set and keep clear intentions Definition
Helps the client become or remain focused and working towards intended goals.
Effect
1. The client feels capable.
2. The client is clear about what he or she wants to accomplish or transform.
3. The client is inspired by the possibilities.
4. The client moves forward purposefully.
Key Elements
1. Inquiring into the client’s intentions and goals.
2. Time spent on what is most important.
3. Clarifying direction of progress.
4. Periodically reviewing, revising and/or celebrating the process and intentions.
8. Inviting possibility
Definition
Creating an environment that allows ideas, options and opportunities to emerge.
64
Effect
1. The coach enables expansion of thoughts and actions.
2. The client’s awareness is expanded.
3. The coach helps client transcend barriers.
4. The client is willing to leave his/her comfort zone.
5. The client has more options.
Key Elements
1. Trust, openness, curiosity, courage, and recognition of potential.
2. The coach and the client communicate through exploration and discovery.
3. Identify “internal” possibilities (e.g., personal greatness, higher purpose) and “external” possibilities (e.g., resources, memes).
4. Possibilities are generated by the coach, the client or a collaboration of the two.
9. Helping the client create and use supportive systems and structures
Definition
Helping the client identify and build the relationships, tools, systems and structures he or she needs to advance and sustain progress.