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I Don't Want To Be A Pirate - Writer, maybe by Robert S. Swiatek

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Table of contents

1. Don’t you understand English?

2. Make some lemonade

3. Read my lips and other body parts

4. Everything causes cancer

5. Computers…you can’t live with them

6. How can I be overdrawn?

7. Sign before they read

8. Don’t get caught in the WEB

9. Mousse marketing madness

10. This little piggy went to market

11.

Smoke peace pipe

12.

Eye patches and peg legs

13.

Help – I need a paddle

14.

If at first you don’t succeed

15.

When do you two get involved in this?

17.

But that would leave you with one

18.

Laughter is the best medicine

19.

My English ain’t the best

20.

Voodoo acupuncture

21.

I wrote a song but . . .

22.

She criticized my brownstone

23.

“Are you experienced?”

24.

Smile…people will wonder what you’re up to

16.

Plant the potatoes now

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