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I Almost Love You


Elvira Robinson charged me with full force, she was glaring and
red-faced.
I did what I had to I leaped onto her chest, knocking her
entire body backwards and onto the floor.
That was the last obstacle at the shelter. But just a few
minutes later, I began to hear police sirens converging upon the
animal shelter.
I continued walking southbound and slightly east towards
the downtown core. It would be a better place to live in. It’s
easier for a cat to get lost in the crowd.
It’s nice strolling through a clean, quiet residential area
on a moon lit night, with stars engulfing the sky.
Most humans think that cats never glance up at the sky;
that they don’t even notice the sun, moon, stars or other
terrestrial bodies therein. That’s a bit stupid.
After roughly an hour of walking I decided to shift
direction, heading due south. I was now within ‘striking range’
of the downtown core.
But just as I crossed the street a vehicle with high beam
lights turned on approached me. Instantly, I took cover
underneath a dark-coloured van, not knowing if the driver of the
vehicle had seen me.
To my utter shock, as the vehicle slowly passed me I
noticed that it was a patrol car. The Montreal Police were
searching the area for an escapee cat. That cat, of course, was
yours truly.
I waited until the patrol car was out of sight before
squeezing my beautiful body out from underneath the van.
The sheer shock of seeing the patrol car caused me to poop
and pee. I pictured the owner of the van throwing a fit the
following morning. The stench would certainly be unbearable.
Worse yet, part of my poop and pee had dropped just underneath
the driver’s door. The driver would likely step on my excrement.
Well, I certainly wasn’t going to clean up after myself.
I had more important matters at hand. Besides, there was
likely to be a handsome reward for my capture. I had to continue
trekking.
I scanned the area, using my eyes, ears and nose to detect
danger. I scented a few dogs in the area but they were likely
getting ready to hit the sack. I also scented a lone squirrel
nearby.
Squirrels generally don’t pose a threat to cats, unless, as
in my case, the individual notifies the police after seeing me.
As I continued my trek a lone person called out to me.
“PSST, hey there, come here please.”
“Huh, who is that?”
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