I Almost Love You
I’d made a fatal error; while eating seafood that I’d just
snatched from inside the restaurant in broad daylight in the
park behind the restaurant. I’d become so brazen, hitting one
restaurant after another, and supermarkets every now and then
The animal control officer, a short pudgy middle aged woman
snuck up from behind me and then shot me with a tranquilizer.
That’s not the worst of it, I was also netted. Animal control
officers can be very intent on capturing a specific troublesome
I’m certain she gave me at least triple the dose of
tranquilizer needed to knock me out, but because I was already
on the run from previous ‘free meal activities’ I guess the city
had had enough of my escapades.
I don’t see anything wrong with a cat snatching a free meal
here and there from different establishments; damn, it is tough
living on the streets! Besides, cats are an asset to this world.
You humans owe us so much for all the ‘free good’ that we’ve
done for you.
Before I knew it, I’d found myself awakening in a filthy,
stinking animal shelter. The food in my bowl consisted of stinky
grub. The water was warm, not cool.
I spent just under three nights therein, but planned my
escape as soon as the effects of the tranquilizer reached the
half life mark.
Just an hour ago, at 7:30 P.M. to be exact, I played sick,
inducing a vomiting fit and then ‘begging’ the shelter worker on
duty to come to my aid.
The shelter worker entered our ward roughly a minute after
I began my act.
Although the shelter worker was a giant of a man, perhaps
six feet five inches tall and weighing over 250 pounds my feline
instincts took over.
I waited until he opened my cage and pulled me out to make
As soon as I was within striking range, I gave the shelter
worker a right cross that literally knocked him out.
Thereafter, I didn’t pause for a single second. There was
no time to waste, because the other shelter cats and dogs, many
of them in dire straits became envious of me; and when it became
apparent that I wasn’t going to help them they threw a fit,
screaming their heads off.
The envious animals were shouting ‘escapee’ over and over
again. They were trying to jinx me. It didn’t faze me one iota.
I ran out of the ward and then through the hallway but met
a temporary obstacle. The veterinarian of the shelter, a Dr.