Gerry’s Online Dating Guide for the Lonely by Gerry - HTML preview

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First Date Do's and Don’ts

Any first date can be extremely tense and stressful whether it’s a date that you’ve set up online or offline. Many times you’ll act too shy or insecure to even be considered for that second date. This can be devastating at the best of times but even more so if you were really hoping for that second date with someone you liked. There are some things that you can do to make sure that you leave a good impression and get a second chance.

Make your date feel as comfortable as possible. Relax and realize that you’re just there to have a good time so there should be no pressure to be overly cute or funny. The most important that you can remember is to be yourself. Be as interesting as you can without coming across as overbearing. The worse thing that you can do is sit there with nothing to say or add to the conversation. Be a good listener and make sure that you ask your date questions so that you learn more about them and so that they know you are interested and paying attention.

If your date has a sense of humor, try to laugh at some of their jokes. Hopefully they won’t bore you with too many jokes but keep in mind that if they do it could be a sign of their nervousness. Try to keep the conversation going at all times since long moments of silence can be awkward and leave your date wondering if you’d rather not be there. Have a list of questions in your head that you can pull out when there is too much silence. The more interest that you show in the date the more fun you’ll have and the more chance there will be for future dates. Try to plan your date around something fun. A first date doesn’t need to revolve around the movies or dinner. If you and your date are both interested in the arts you might want to suggest a trip to the art gallery. This will be a good ice breaker for the two of you and can let you both relax in an environment that you enjoy. Be confident in your ability to have a good time while being yourself. If you have to pretend that you’re someone you’re not there will be little point to the first date or any other dates. First dates don’t have to be intimidating and stressful if you take some time to plan for them and go prepared.

Breaking Up

Online dating is just like dating someone that you meet offline: there is always that question about what to do if it’s time to break up. Whether it’s you or the other person who decides that it’s time to end the relationship it’s never easy to do. Perhaps when it comes to online dating there are always more break-ups as people find out more and more about each other over a period of time. And let’s face it…if one relationship isn’t working out, there is always another online date out there for you.

If you know that you’re no longer interested in seeing someone try not to drag it out for too long. If you’re on the first date and you know that it just isn’t going to work you should be honest with your date so that you don’t give them the impression that you want to see them again. Although this may be brutally honest it will save you a lot of heartache in the future. Be honest about your feelings without hurting the other person. Rather than tell them what you think is wrong with them try to put the focus back on yourself. Tell them that you just don’t feel as though there is any connection for you. Thank them for the date but make it clear that you won’t be going out again.
Many people think that if the dating and romance part of the date didn’t work out that there may be a chance of friendship. Be honest with yourself. If you’re doing the online dating thing you’re probably not looking for new friends but want romance instead. If you’ve been dating someone you met online for a while the break up will be harder. Make sure that you give the other person a chance to talk about their feelings so that you end the relationship on a good note with both of you feeling as though you have reached a good level of closure.

Don’t break up with someone in a public place. You don’t want to humiliate them if things don’t go smoothly. Online dating comes all of the same issues as dating someone that you meet offline. Whether you end up dating long term, or call it quits after one date, you’ll still be making the same decisions about your relationship that you would if had met offline. The thing to keep in mind is that you’re in control of who you date and for how long you want to continue seeing them.

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