recurring issues started to come up, so I want to talk about - message I want to speak about is honouring
your father and your mother. I want to show you some things on this or an insight relat ed to this that will
really bless and help you.
Let me just start with a story - good way - I had a woman and I can't remember, I think it was in Taiwan
and she came for counsel. I don't know why it happened that way but anyway, they brought her in for
counsel, asked me to talk with her and I asked her what is your problem? She said well I don't rea lly know
what to do. I have this man wants to marry me. I said oh, tell me a bit more. She said well - and so she
explained what had happened; she'd had a relations hip with this man. He was an uns aved man, and she
had a child with this man. No, she had a relationship with the man and it broke up and then she had a
fling with some other guy and had a child to him and so now she's a woman with a child and this first guy
wants to now marry her. The other guy's unhappy and she's in this turmoil in a mess and ma ny times you
find that people have turmoil and a mess, they can't pull it apart and see what the issues are inside.
So I asked her, well, you know, is this guy a Christian? She said no, he isn't. I said well tell me then a little
bit about why the relationship broke up. She said well while he was going out wit h me he also had two or
three other relationships going on the side. I said so you're telling me you're thinking of marrying someone
who was already demonstrating unfaithfulness to you? I said why woul d you do that? She said well, I kind
of have something in my heart for him.
Then the Lord just dropped this into my heart; ask about her father. I said tell me about your fat her and
your relationship with your father. She said oh, well I don't see him. I s aid why is that? And she said well
my parent's marriage broke up. I said really? Why did it break up? She said well he had two or three other
women on the side that he was having an affair with and so the marriage broke up.
I said just stop right there. I said I wonder if you can see that this is no accident or coincidence that your
parent's relations hip broke up because he was unfaithful and this first guy you've had a relationship with
has also broken up for the same reason. She couldn't see the connection. I said well the Bible's very
clear; if you judge your parents you will reap in your own life the impact of that judgement. You have
judged your father for his failure. You've held unforgiveness and bitterness and judgement in your heart
and you're in the process of reaping in your own life what you never resolved with your father.
I wish I could say in that particular case she could see it. She just refused to see it. She didn't want to see
it and so I said I'm sorry, I can't help you anymore because you 're not facing the root problem which lies
in your heart. You have an undealt with issue with your father and until you deal with that you will
continue to have this kind of problem coming into your life.
When we counsel people in marriage there are probably two significant areas that we would look for. One
is what sexual kind of relationships or situations have happened with you prior to your marriage, but the
other one which is the most telling of all is tell me about your relationship with your parents. You would be
amazed how many times an unres olved conflict with a parent reproduces in the next generation and
represents itself waiting to be resolved. It's like there's a magnetic attraction that pulls into the person's
life some person that will outwork the same thing that they tried to run away from and there has to be a
spiritual dynamic behind that and there is. So I want to just show this to you through the scriptures.
So firstly we'll just start and I want to just go through a few scriptures and then I want to show you how to
break out of this, because in some of the counselling that I did just with two or three people the same
issue reappeared. They had an unresolved conflict with a father and the situations they were facing
directly connected to that unresolved - in fact it was traced back to that unresolved root and I did send
them away with homework to do to actually resolve the conflict and the judgements that were in their
They were directly reaping the outcome of walking away from home with issues unresolved and so we
can leave home physically, but not leave home emotionally or spiritually. We bring the baggage with us