family about this, and we hadn 't talked as a family about this. It had just been a no go zone and it was
actually quite a little process to go back and talk to my family.
I didn't even want to look at photos. They brought photos out. Mike had warned them that I was coming. I
didn't even want to look at the photos the first day. I was so much in denial. I didn't want to go there. It
was so incredibly painful. I'd far rather almost stay in denial, but the Lord was on my case, it was time to
go there. You might have situations buried for y ears and years and years, but this is the time because the
spirit of the Lord is here. The anointing is here to bring good news and all we have to be is open to the
fact that we're poor, we're needy, we actually have things in our life.
So I faced it. I faced it for three days. I journey ed it, I relived it - it only took three days to actually get in
touch with it, to express my grief, to allow the Lord to bring His love and healing in. Then Mike came back
and got me and took me back to the grave site, and he broke this soul tie to the dead. That was very
powerful - sometimes we have to break soul ties to things you've never let go; loved ones, someone
you're close to, never let go but breaking that soul tie to the dead was powerful. Also the Lord will often
give you a fresh vision.
I remember as He did that, I just saw my sister in heaven; she's in the galleries of heaven. She's cheering
us on. You know, you get a fresh vision of who she is and where she is and instead of having a negative
or a closed off thing it becomes something that's powerful and alive. So that was probably the start of my
journey of being unlocked, but that habit pattern of being Super Joy, holding herself in and going through
any sort of crisis alone and using your own resources had been established. Of course the next crisis I
think was when I met this lovely Roman Catholic boy at university and I was a good Brethren girl. ...
[Laughter] ... In fact I'd seen girls in our church get pregnant and I saw what happened to them under that
judgement and condemnation and I thought no way am I ever going to face that sort of music! If I ever get
pregnant I'm no way going to bring it out into the light and get treat ed like I saw some people treated, so
an inner vow I made as a young girl at high school - well after seven years of getting our act together and
not getting our act toget her I got pregnant, so my old strategies again kicked in.
One is the inner vow - no way was I going to trap somebody into marrying me pregnant, and also I can
cope, I'm Super Joy. I can go through this without any help from anybody, and I did. I had the whole
pregnancy - in fact up until a week after I was due I was working in a plastics factory. Nobody knew
except Mike. I had been teaching at a high school. They all thought I had glandular fever and ...
[Laughter] ... we had our baby, put the baby up for adoption. We thought that was the easiest solution at
the time. The enemy gives you all sorts of easy outs, so our baby was up for adoption. Nobody knew. My
parents didn't know, nobody except each ot her and our flatmat es.
But you know, such is the power of these old patterns and walking through - in the meantime you don't
realise, it seems an easy way out, but what it does to your emotions, to suppress them, rule over th em
with your mind, try and pretend they 're not there and stifle them - is death. The Bible says if you come into
agreement with lies, you actually invite spirits of death and hell which lock you away, isolate you, torment
you. So it's been a huge journey; not only how God's been tremendously faithful and that adoption - she's
coming on a mission trip with us this year. You know she's saved, she's married ... [Applause] ... Mike
married her. We prayed for her to have children. God's grace, God's amazing grac e. I just don't know how
good God is but what I did in sin and in covet and bad, you know, just stupid choices - God redeemed
and has brought such a huge testimony.
But apart from what He's done in that, He's had to unlock my emotions and healing and break all those
codes of secrecy and all the things that go along with that to bring healing and release and freedom and
He's so incredibly good and He can do that for you. ... [Applause]
[Mike Connell] Praise the Lord. I want to just share with you just some t hings about bondages of the heart
and there's a whole area we could teach about it, so I'm going to have to just condense it and just give
you some things that just get you think. While I share I ask you just to be open and let the Holy Spirit drop