let's do that, let's go ahead, have a 15 minut e break. If you're still out here just be sensitive to the fact that
people are under the power of the Holy Spirit. They're being set free. They're being delivered. Just be
really, really sensitive. If you can use the back door that would be ideal. If y ou're kind of up - go through
that way. Obviously if you're on the ground just go this way, but if you're up there that 'd be great - 15
minute break. It is 11.25. Let's come back at 11.40 for the next session. Praise God.
3. Freedom Conference (3 of 4)
Sat 28 Jan 2012 AM « Back to Top
[Joy Connell] Wow! Thank you. Thank you. You're a great church! I just want to give God the glory
because we're just a testimony of what we're teaching. I'd just like to start with a bit of genera tional stuff.
Sometimes you come from a family line where it just is not done to share your feelings, talk feelings and
for all sorts of reasons. My father was pushed out of the Exclusive Brethren Church when he discovered
there are Christians and he just wore it off, showed his love by good deeds but could never express
feelings. That was how he was and if I tried to talk to him about his emotions - this is how I am, this is how
we act. Now I realise his whole family line were like that because, when I had to identify it, it was pride
and a worship of rational thinking. If it wasn't something you could rationalise and describe then, you
know, we didn't go there. It's all kooky and funny.
So I came to the stage where I realised that was a generational trait and I repented of being like that and
wors hiping the rational mind and invited the Lord to use visions, dreams, any triggers. He chose to use to
allow me to see what was buried that I hadn't seen. It's a dangerous thing to do actually and so I did that
and then within a week of that pray er the Lord took me right back and here am I, a married woman, a
pastor's wife with six children but we just never had really gone into inner healing very much.
He brought me back to an incident that happened when I was 11 y ears old. This would be probably 30
years earlier, when I was 11 and my sister who was 13, were in a car accident where my mother was the
driver. Grandmot her was in the car and it was a huge crisis in our family. It just turned the whole family
upside down. At that stage they had three pre -schoolers and then these little girls and the two older girls,
so the way I coped at that stage was to rise up and be Super Joy. I didn't have needs or feelings. I stood
there for everybody else and I took on an identity, probably because everybody else around me was a
mess - but it was the way I chose to respond.
I could have gone back and said I need comfort or I need help, but I just shelved all that and closed it all
off and took on another identity of being totally all together. I don't have feelings or needs. It's just not who
I am, but you can live like that for quite some time and I lived like that for years and years and years, until
I realised it was a false identity. I'm not actually that sort of person. I've chosen to be that for many years,
but actually I do have needs and I can ask them to be met. In fact I didn't even like needy people. I
thought they were people that weren't very good. The Lord said, but actually I like you to have needs,
because I want to meet your needs ... [Laughter] ... and if you don't have needs you can't meet one
So I had to stop being independent and isolated and alone and realising it's okay to have needs. Anyway
this whole incident came back and I realised there were many keys that I've since realised; one was how I
coped at the time was choosing to totally deny my feelings, my need, just shut the door tight on it and live
for years and years and years like it hadn't happened - until, as I said, I invited the Lord to raise issues.
So then when it came up I thought what do I do? I kept reading the scriptures, and the Holy Spirit led me
how to process it. He said: don't hide yourself from your own flesh. I thought I better go and talk to my