TABLE OF CONTENTS
4. Circles
5. Black Top Hats & White Gloves
6. Branding Irons
7. 8 – The Impossible Formula
8. All Things
9. White Ballerina Shoes
10. The Best Part
11. Choices
12. Dark
13. December Bird
14. Desperate
15. Dreams Given
16. Following Myself
17. Forgiving
18. Waiting For You
19. Fract And Flect
20. Gentle Earthquake
21. Hearts Break
21. Hazing
22. In My Darkness
23. Waterfall
24. Murderer
24. Midnite Ride
25. Goodnight Mr. Davidson 26. A Taste Of Life With Myself 27. Light Switches
28. Human Knives
29. How Many Miles
30. Mickey & Minnie Mouse 31. Somewhere In Between 32. Icicles
33. You Were There Too
34. Nevada And You
35. Reborn & Baptized
36. Smoking
37. Stolen Nightmare
38. Sunset Death
39. Too Late
40. Victim Of Purple
41. Robbie Burns
42. Ripples
43. Understanding
44. A New And Torn Language 45. Doug
46. Naked Escape 47. Masterpiece
47. Cool Blue Ache 48. Lost Angels
49. Close Your Eyes 50. Avenue
51. The Dying Room 52. Clay Warrior
53. Love
54. First Stage
55. Angels & Devils 56. Eye Of Midnite 57. Naked & Needing 58. Basketballs
58. High Wires
DRAWING CIRCLES IN ETERNITY
BECOMES EXCEEDINGLY DROLL
WHEN FACED WITH THE FORMIDABLE FACT
THAT MOST OF US ARE NOT INVULNERABLE.
YOU,
I KNOW I SEE YOU THERE INSIDE YOUR PRIVATE SQUARE
BUT I ALSO KNOW YOU ARE NOT REALLY THERE
BECAUSE I ONLY DEAL IN CIRCLES.
BEGONE
HE WHO IS BUT AN APPARITION.
GHOSTLY SPECTRE
TOUCH ME NOT,
FOR IF YOU DO
CIRCLES WILL MEAN NOTHING AND THEN WHAT WILL ETERNITY BE?
BLACK TOP HATS & WHITE GLOVES,
VELVET & SATIN BLENDING MAGNIFICENTLY.
I CLAP AT THE THOUGHT WITH A THUNDERING HEARTBEAT.
I LAY MY HANDS ON A BRAINWAVE
TO LET IT BE AS IT IS MEANT TO BE.
WE CREATE OUR OWN WALLS
AND THEN WE EITHER CLIMB THEM,
CRUMBLE THEM,
OR HIDE BEHIND THEM.
.WHEREVER WE DECIDE TO BE,
INSIDE
OR
OUTSIDE
OUR WALL,
WE ARE ALWAYS ALLOWED TO WEAR WHAT WE WISH.
I CHOOSE TO WEAR BLACK VELVET TOP HATS & WHITE SATIN GLOVES.
SOMETIMES I FEAR YOU
AND YOUR SOURCE OF TEARS;
JEWELS TRICKLING DOWN THE CHEEK
OF SOME HAZY CHERISHED MEMORY.
YOU BLEND YOUR EVIL AND MAGIC
SO MAGNIFICENTLY
IN THE GUISE OF PRIMAL PASSION.
YOU HAVE TIED ME TO THE SECRETS
THAT HIDE IN YOUR BLOOD
AND SO WE MINGLE
WITH LOST INNOCENCE.
BEHOLD ---
OUR HANDS ARE BRANDING IRONS AS WE TOUCH EACH OTHER'S SOUL.
EVERY WEEK SHOULD BE ALLOWED 8 PAGES TO TELL ITS STORY
AND EVERY HUMAN BEING SHOULD HAVE 8 DAYS
IN THEIR LIFE THAT REALLY TRULY COUNT.
8 TIMES 8 IS 64.
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN 9 AND 7 = 2.
6 PLUS 2 = 8.
4 TIMES 2 = 8.
8 TIMES 8 IS 64.
64 IS 12 MORE THAN 52.
12 IS ONE 8 AND A HALF ANOTHER 8 (4)
SO 12 IS ONE AND A HALF 8'S.
ALL THESE THINGS THOROUGHLY UNDERSTOOD CAN EQUAL
8 GREAT PAGES IN LIFE AND MAKE LIFE GREATER THAN
AN EIGHT DAY WEEK.
THIS IS THE IMPOSSIBLE FORMULA
I TRY TO FATHOM DAILY.
THIS IS MY LIFE -FATHOMLESS.
WRINGING;
SQUEEZING;
EVERY LAST POSSIBLE DROP,
TRYING TO FULFILL THE RECIPE OF LIFE.
KNEE DEEP IN EMOTION.
SKULL DEEP IN LIVING.
CROSSING BONES,
THREADING ARTERIES,
TRYING TO BREATHE SOME LIFE
INTO THIS QUIET SEMI DEATH.
I AM HERE.
I AM THERE.
I AM EVERYWHERE.
I AM ALL THINGS. LIVING IN THIS DEATH WE CALL LIFE.
WHITE BALLERINA SHOES,
DANCE FOR ME
THE FANCY WAY
I NEVER COULD DANCE,
BLACK VEIL OF ILLUSION,
CURTAINS OF LIFE FALLING,
SHAWLING,
OVER MY EYELIDS,
DISGUISE THESE THINGS
THAT ARE TOO PAINFUL
FOR MY EYES TO BEHOLD.
WHITE BALLERINA SHOES DANCE,
THAT YOU MAY NEVER GATHER DUST
AS I DO.
DANCE WHITE BALLERINA SHOES DANCE.
DANCE ONCE MORE FOR ME BEFORE THE CURTAIN FALLS.
WITH THE BEST PART OF US LOST,
VIOLINS AND PIANOS
COULD NOT MAKE A MELODY OF ME
WHEN I WAS WITH YOU.
ORCHESTRAS AND SYMPHONIES
COULD NOT MAKE A SONG OF YOU
WHEN YOU WERE WITH ME.
ARRANGERS AND COMPOSERS
COULD NOT ORGANIZE
OUR BIZARRE MASTERPIECE OF MUSIC
INTO A HEARTFELT HARMONY,
AND A SONG IS NOT A SONG WHEN YOU'VE LEFT THE BEST PART OUT.
EVERYBODY HAS THEIR OWN SECRET WORDS
THEY MAY NOT CHOOSE TO SPEAK.
EVERYBODY HAS THEIR OWN TENDER CHAINS
THEY MAY NOT WISH TO BREAK,
AND EVERYBODY'S PASSED A ROAD THEY DID NOT CHOOSE TO TAKE.
AND WHAT OF THE ROAD NOT TAKEN?
DID IT TWIST AND TURN VIOLENTLY, CAUSING UPHEAVAL & RUTS,
OR DID IT CURVE AND WEAVE GENTLY, ON RAINBOWED PAVEMENTS?
AND -
IF I COULD GO BACK IN TIME
WOULD I STILL PASS THAT ROAD I CHOSE NOT TO TAKE?
WHAT OF THE WORDS NOT SPOKEN
THAT WERE PERCHED SO EAGERLY ON MY LIPS
WAITING PATIENTLY FOR THEIR CHANCE TO BE FREE?
DID THEY DIE IN SILENCE? DID THEY DROWN IN FEAR,
OR ARE THEIR GHOSTS STILL CHAINED IN MY MIND?
UNSPOKEN REFRAINS AND UNBROKEN CHAINS LED ME PAST THE ROAD NOT TAKEN.
I'M RIDING A RUSTY DREAM,
HEADING FOR A DUSTY SUNDOWN,
HUSTLING SHOWDOWNS WITH RAINBOWS
IN HAZY RODEOS.
FORGOTTEN WISHES STILL LIVE, BREATHE
LINGER ON MY LIPS
AND HEAT THE GLACIERS OF MY MIND.
I'M IN A SILVER THAW.
I HARDLY RECOGNIZE MYSELF THESE DAYS.
AS I OPEN MY EYES
IT ALL BECOMES SO CLEAR.
THE ONLY DARK THERE IS IS THE DARK I CREATE.
WHY WAS THAT BIRD CRYING
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT,
IN THE MIDDLE OF MY DREAM,
IN THE MIDDLE OF DECEMBER?
ITS SO FAR OUT,
JUST BEYOND REACH,
JUST BEYOND VISION,
YET ALMOST CLOSE ENOUGH TO TOUCH.
IN THE ELEVEN O'CLOCK, DARK AND DAMP,
ONE HOUR BEFORE MIDNIGHT,
DEEP IN DECEMBER,
I HEARD A BIRD CRYING AND I KNEW I WASN’T ALONE.
IN KEEPING WITH AN OLD FELINE TRADITION,
I DECIDED TO HAVE A WARM BOWL OF BEER
BEFORE STRETCHING OUT ON THE FLOOR
FOR A CAT NAP
BUT ALAS,
SOME SILLY ASSININE HUMAN
HAD TAKEN A TABLESPOON OF "PAL"
AND STIRRED IT INTO MY FROTHY HOPS.
BEING A REAL TIGRESS,
I DECIDED TO TRY TO DIGEST
THIS PARTIALLY DOGGED UP CONCOCTION ANYWAY.
YIKES! THERE REALLY IS NOTHING WORSE
THAN A DESPERATE CAT IS THERE?
-- EXCEPT A DESPERATE WOMAN.
A WHITE CAT IS A BLESSING TO THE EARTH
IN SUMMERTIME;
SHINY, BRIGHT AND ALMOST LUMINOUS
AGAINST A RICH CARPET OF GREEN GRASS.
WHITE AND PURE
IT CAN CURE WITH A PURR
AND WARM A LONELY HEART.
A WHITE HOPE IS A SMOOTH HIGHWAY
TO THOSE WHO TRAVEL ON WHEELS WET WITH RUST,
BUT A WHITE DREAM IS TRUE SALVATION
FOR IT MUST COME TRUE.
IF I CAN GIVE ANYTHING TO YOU
I WILL GIVE YOU MY WHITE DREAM THAT YOURS MAY COME TRUE.
I HAVE WALKED A FEW ROADS AND SEEN MANY THINGS
BUT I HAVE NOT UNDERSTOOD MUCH OF WHAT I HAVE SEEN.
I HAVE SEEN SUNS RISING HIGH
LIKE A WINDOWLESS PLANE CLIMBING JACOB'S LADDER,
AND I HAVE SEEN SUNS SINKING LOW
LIKE A TWILIGHT SPIDER ON THE CURTAIN OF DUSK.
I HAVE PEERED UPWARD
FROM UNDER THE FLOORBOARDS OF LIFE
AND GAZED DOWNWARD FROM MY DREAMS.
WHEN I SEE YOU LOOK AT ME
YOU SEE ME, BUT, YOU DON’T REALLY SEE ME.
I AM ONLY THE ESSENCE OF MY WORDS
THEY ARE ME AND I AM THEM.
AS I WALK THROUGH THIS UNIVERSE
HAND IN HAND WITH MY WORDS,
SOMETIMES I THINK I HEAR SOMEONE FOLLOWING ME,
WHEN I TURN AROUND I SEE IT IS ONLY ME
FOLLOWING MYSELF, I REALIZE I HOW TOTALLY LOST I TRULY AM.
I'M TIRED OF NOT FORGIVING
SO I FORGIVE YOU NOW
FOR EVERY UNJUST PRETENSE
YOU'VE PUT ME THROUGH;
FOR EVERY LOVELY LIE
YOU'VE LED ME ON WITH;
FOR EVERY MISTY TEAR
YOU'VE STOLEN FROM MY SOUL.
YES ---
I FORGIVE YOU, NOW I MUST LEARN HOW TO FORGIVE MYSELF.
WAITING FOR YOU,
I CREATE THOUGHTS LIKE BUBBLES
TO DRIFT THRU MANY SKIES
AND PERCHANCE TO PASS THRU YOUR UNIVERSE.
AS THE SUN IGNITES THE DEWDROPS CLIMBING THRU THE GRASS
LIKE DIAMOND BEADS DANCING ON A WARM WET CARPET,
I JEWEL MY THOUGHTS THRU DAWN'S FADING GLOW
AND BARE MY MOST NAKED DREAMS
TO FLOW LIKE A RIVER OF TRUTH BEFORE YOUR EYES.
I'M STILL WAITING:
WAITING FOR THE MOON TO TURN SHOCKING PINK,
WAITING FOR THE SUN TO BURN OUT COMPLETELY.
I AM WAITING,
STILL WAITING, FOR YOU.
DO REFLECTIONS RE "FRACT"
OR DO REFRACTIONS RE"FLECT",
AND WHAT THE HELL IS A "FRACT" OR A "FLECT" ANYHOW?
DO I BREATHE
OR DOES MY BREATH MAKE ME?
AND, WHEN I LOOK IN THE MIRROR WHICH ONE IS REALLY ME?
THE ONE I CAN TOUCH AND FEEL
AND YET NOT SEE FROM INSIDE MY BODY,
OR THE ONE I CAN ONLY SEE
WHEN I LOOK IN THE MIRROR,
AND AM I REALLY LOOKING AT ME
OR AM I SEEING WHAT I AM REALLY NOT?
WHAT IS A MIRROR ANYWAY
AND WHAT IS GLASS?
A MIRROR IS GLASS THAT RE"FLECTS",
OR DOES IT RE"FRACT"? AND, WHAT IN THE HELL IS A "FRACT" OR A "FLECT" ANYHOW?
YOUR MOUTH,
NOT SMILING,
NOT FROWNING,
SILENTLY CREATING A NEW LANGUAGE.
YOUR BREATH,
COMMANDING INTIMACY,
SUSTAINING DESIRE,
DESTROYING ALL FRAGMENTS OF FEAR.
I FLOW TO YOU
AS WAVES TO A SILENT SHORE,
NOT CRASHING,
NOT BREAKING,
BUT GENTLY BENDING,
SOFTLY WASHING.
SEEING YOU,
EVEN THE FIRST TIME,
SHOOK MY UNIVERSE LIKE A GENTLE EARTHQUAKE.
HEARTS BREAK SILENTLY
NO ECHOES IN HEARTACHE CANYON
HEARTS MEND SOUNDLESSLY
NO NOISY NEEDLES KNITTING
HEARTS BREAK
LIKE WAVES IN A VACCUUM
HEARTS MEND LIKE BRUISED ATMOSPHERE
SOMETIMES , WHEN I LOOK AT YOU
I SEE MYSELF.
OTHER TIMES ,
YOU REFLECT NO TRACE OF ME AT ALL.
MOST TIMES,
I SEARCH YOUR SOUL
TO FIND THAT CREVICE I BECAME LOST IN.
I REALIZE I AM AFRAID TO BE ALONE,
SCARED OF THE EMPTINESS AND THE WAY IT ECHOES.
DARKNESS BECOMES MY DREADED CHAMBER OF SILENCE.
WHEN I'M ALONE, MY DARKNESS HAS A RED EDGE
AND THE SILENCE IS SAW TOOTHED, CUTTING THRU MY MIND
LIGHTING ALL THOSE FOGGY MIST COVERED
DRAWERS OF BURIED MEMORIES. -- MY SECRETS HIDDEN WITHIN.
ALONE, IN THE VACUUM OF MYSELF,
I WITNESS FRIGHTENING THINGS COMING TO LIFE:
DRAGONS I HAVE SLAIN IN THE PAST
THAT WILL NOT STAY DEAD;
MONSTERS WITH RED EYES AND BONY FINGERS
POINTING AT ME, ACCUSING ME.
I AM AFRAID TO BE ALONE,
AFRAID TO THE BONE,
BECAUSE I FEAR THE ME I MIGHT BUMP INTO
IN THE DARKNESS; IN MY DARKNESS.
BEFORE I LEFT
I VISITED A WATERFALL.
NOW I AM DIVORCED FROM SUN AND STARS
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