Every Man In His Humour
SCENE I---A Room in KITELY'S House.
Enter DOWNRIGTIT and Dame KITELY.
Dow. Well, sister, I tell you true; and you'll find it so in the end.
Dame K. Alas, brother, what would you have me to do? I cannot help it; you see
my brother brings them in here; they are his friends.
Dow. His friends! his fiends. 'Slud! they do nothing but haunt him up and down
like a sort of unlucky spirits, and tempt him to all manner of villainy that can be
thought of. Well, by this light, a little thing would make me play the devil with
some of them: an 'twere not more for your husband's sake than anything else, I'd
make the house too hot for the best on 'em; they should say, and swear, hell
were broken loose, ere they went hence. But, by God's will, 'tis nobody's fault but
yours; for an you had done as you might have done, they should have been
parboiled, and baked too, every mother's son, ere they should have come in, e'er
a one of them.
Dame K. God's my life! did you ever hear the like? what a strange man is this!
Could I keep out all them, think you? I should put myself against half a dozen
men, should I? Good faith, you'd mad the patien'st body in the world; to hear you
talk so, without any sense or reason.
Enter Mistress BRIDGET, Master MATHEW, and BOBADILL;
followed, at a distance, by WELLBRED, E. KNOWELL,
STBPHEN, and BBAINWORM.
Servant, in troth you are too prodigal
Of your wit's treasure, thus fu pour it forth
Upon so mean a subject as my worth.
Mat. You say well, mistress, and I mean as well.
Dow. Hoy-day, here is stuff!
Wel. O, now stand close; pray Heaven, she can get him to read! he should do it
of his own natural impudency.
Brid. Servant, what is this same, I pray you?
Mat. Marry, an elegy, an elegy, an odd toy--
Dow. To mock an ape withal! O, I could sew up his mouth, now.