Chapter 14
23 September.--Jonathan is better after a bad night. I am so glad that he has
plenty of work to do, for that keeps his mind off the terrible things, and oh, I am
rejoiced that he is not now weighed down with the responsibility of his new
position. I knew he would be true to himself, and now how proud I am to see my
Jonathan rising to the height of his advancement and keeping pace in all ways
with the duties that come upon him. He will be away all day till late, for he said he
could not lunch at home. My household work is done, so I shall take his foreign
journal, and lock myself up in my room and read it.
24 September.--I hadn't the heart to write last night, that terrible record of
Jonathan's upset me so. Poor dear! How he must have suffered, whether it be
true or only imagination. I wonder if there is any truth in it at all. Did he get his
brain fever, and then write all those terrible things, or had he some cause for it
all? I suppose I shall never know, for I dare not open the subject to him. And yet
that man we saw yesterday! He seemed quite certain of him, poor fellow! I
suppose it was the funeral upset him and sent his mind back on some train of
He believes it all himself. I remember how on our wedding day he said "Unless
some solemn duty come upon me to go back to the bitter hours, asleep or
awake, mad or sane. . ." There seems to be through it all some thread of
continuity. That fearful Count was coming to London. If it should be, and he came
to London, with its teeming millions. . .There may be a solemn duty, and if it
come we must not shrink from it. I shall be prepared. I shall get my typewriter this
very hour and begin transcribing. Then we shall be ready for other eyes if
required. And if it be wanted, then, perhaps, if I am ready, poor Jonathan may not
be upset, for I can speak for him and never let him be troubled or worried with it
at all. If ever Jonathan quite gets over the nervousness he may want to tell me of
it all, and I can ask him questions and find out things, and see how I may comfort
24 September
"Dear Madam,
"I pray you to pardon my writing, in that I am so far friend as that I sent to you sad
news of Miss Lucy Westenra's death. By the kindness of Lord Godalming, I am
empowered to read her letters and papers, for I am deeply concerned about
certain matters vitally important. In them I find some letters from you, which show
how great friends you were and how you love her. Oh, Madam Mina, by that love,
I implore you, help me. It is for others' good that I ask, to redress great wrong,
and to lift much and terrible troubles, that may be more great than you can know.
May it be that I see you? You can trust me. I am friend of Dr. John Seward and of
Lord Godalming (that was Arthur of Miss Lucy). I must keep it private for the
present from all. I should come to Exeter to see you at once if you tell me I am