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Crotchet Castle

MR. CHAINMAIL. No; nor even bulrushes. We jingle purses for them, flourish
paper-money banners, and tilt with scrolls of parchment.
CAPTAIN FITZCHROME. In which sort of tilting I have been thrown from the
saddle. I presume it was not love that led you from the flotilla?
MR. CHAINMAIL. By no means. I was tempted by the sight of an old tower, not
to leave this land of ruined castles, without having collected a few hints for the
adornment of my baronial hall.
CAPTAIN FITZCHROME. I understand you live en famille with your domestics.
You will have more difficulty in finding a lady who would adopt your fashion of
living, than one who would prefer you to a richer man.
MR. CHAINMAIL. Very true. I have tried the experiment on several as guests; but
once was enough for them: so, I suppose, I shall die a bachelor.
CAPTAIN FITZCHROME. I see, like some others of my friends, you will give up
anything except your hobby.
MR. CHAINMAIL. I will give up anything but my baronial hall.
CAPTAIN FITZCHROME. You will never find a wife for your purpose, unless in
the daughter of some old-fashioned farmer.
MR. CHAINMAIL. No, I thank you. I must have a lady of gentle blood; I shall not
marry below my own condition: I am too much of a herald; I have too much of the
twelfth century in me for that.
CAPTAIN FITZCHROME. Why, then your chance is not much better than mine.
A well-born beauty would scarcely be better pleased with your baronial hall than
with my more humble offer of love in a cottage. She must have a town-house,
and an opera-box, and roll about the streets in a carriage; especially if her father
has a rotten borough, for the sake of which he sells his daughter, that he may
continue to sell his country. But you were inquiring for a guide to the ruined castle
in this vicinity; I know the way and will conduct you.
The proposal pleased Mr. Chainmail, and they set forth on their expedition
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