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Crotchet Castle

never find its way to the right owner. The question was, whether I should keep it,
and live like a gentleman; or hand it over to lawyers and commissioners of
bankruptcy, and die like a dog on a dunghill. If I could have thought that the said
lawyers, etc., had a better title to it than myself, I might have hesitated; but, as
such title was not apparent to my satisfaction, I decided the question in my own
favour, the right owners, as I have already said, being out of the question
altogether. I have always taken scientific views of morals and politics, a habit
from which I derive much comfort under existing circumstances.
"I hope you adhere to your music, though I cannot hope again to accompany
your harp with my flute. My last andante movement was too forte for those whom
it took by surprise. Let not your allegro vivace be damped by young Crotchet's
desertion, which, though I have not heard it, I take for granted. He is, like myself,
a scientific politician, and has an eye as keen as a needle to his own interest. He
has had good luck so far, and is gorgeous in the spoils of many gulls; but I think
the Polar Basin and Walrus Company will be too much for him yet. There has
been a splendid outlay on credit, and he is the only man, of the original parties
concerned, of whom his Majesty's sheriffs could give any account.
"I will not ask you to come here. There is no husband for you. The men smoke,
drink, and fight, and break more of their own heads than of girls' hearts. Those
among them who are musical, sing nothing but psalms. They are excellent
fellows in their way, but you would not like them.
"Au reste, here are no rents, no taxes, no poor-rates, no tithes, no church
establishment, no routs, no clubs, no rotten boroughs, no operas, no concerts, no
theatres, no beggars, no thieves, no king, no lords, no ladies, and only one
gentleman, videlicet, your loving father,
Timothy Touchandgo."
P.S.--I send you one of my notes; I can afford to part with it. If you are accused of
receiving money from me, you may pay it over to my assignees. Robthetill
continues to be my factotum; I say no more of him in this place: he will give you
an account of himself."
"Dotandcarryonetown, etc.
"Dear Miss,
"Mr. Touchandgo will have told you of our arrival here, of our setting up a bank,
and so forth. We came here in a tilted waggon, which served us for parlour,
kitchen, and all. We soon got up a log-house; and, unluckily, we as soon got it
down again, for the first fire we made in it burned down house and all. However,
our second experiment was more fortunate; and we are pretty well lodged in a
house of three rooms on a floor; I should say the floor, for there is but one.
"This new state is free to hold slaves; all the new states have not this privilege:
Mr. Touchandgo has bought some, and they are building him a villa. Mr.
Touchandgo is in a thriving way, but he is not happy here: he longs for parties
and concerts, and a seat in Congress. He thinks it very hard that he cannot buy
one with his own coinage, as he used to do in England. Besides, he is afraid of
the Regulators, who, if they do not like a man's character, wait upon him and flog
him, doubling the dose at stated intervals, till he takes himself off. He does not
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