“Kanks” so it hung on. From then on I was “Margaret” whenever I had to do
anything official or fill out paper work, but I was “Kanks” any time else.
As a foster I grew up around the Chicago area so when I qualified for a
scholarship to the University of Nevada I jumped at the chance to get the hell out
of Illinois. I worked hard and got through school fairly easily. At the tender age of
22, and with a liberal arts degree under my belt I made my way to Los Angeles to
seek fame and fortune. I have a pretty good sense of humor so my goal was to
become a writer on a sit-com. Of course you don’t just walk up to a television
studio and ask for a job, you have to write a few things and put together a portfolio
to show then.
I had saved just barely enough money to rent a small apartment in a huge
building in a marginal neighborhood, and then I maxed out two credit cards buying
just a little furniture and a used computer.
I got myself a job working the ticket window of a movie theater in the
“adult” section of town but it paid almost twice minimum wage. I had to work
from noon till about ten at night five days a week with Monday and Tuesday off.
Sounds horrible, but it was a hell of a lot better than flipping burgers, which I had
done all the way through college. Besides, it gave me every morning to work on
my computer, and it kept me busy on weekends so I wasn’t tempted to spend much
of my money on entertainment. Of course I had no social life at all.
One Monday morning, which was the beginning of my weekend, I was on
the computer and I wandered into a BDSM chat room that was for dominant
females and submissive males. I needed a screen-name for that and I picked
“Mistress Xara” which is another of my many names. It was my first time in a
BDSM chat room, and I just picked it out. I had no idea what “dominant” or
“submissive” really meant to these people, but it sure was fun watching the women
order the men around and have the men respond with terms like “Yes Mistress” or
“Yes M’Lady” or “Yes my Queen.” Of course it was just cyber. I mean you
couldn’t see them playing, you could just read the words of their conversations.
They were pretty hot though.
In real life I was far from a prude. I had lost my virginity at 15, and had
perhaps a dozen partners. No real serious relationships. All of my sex had been
pretty vanilla. By that I mean I had done regular fucking and just a little oral sex. I
had been willing to suck cock whenever it came up, but I just didn’t seem to be
very good at it. One guy had volunteered to eat my pussy when I was 17. I let him.
I loved it. Nobody else ever volunteered, so that was it. Well, until I met the worm
kneeling on the ground between my knees.
Anyway, here I was for the first time pretending to be a dominant woman in
a chat room where submissive men served dominant women. I just sat and read the
messages going back and forth for a while and then started chatting with anyone