Call Me Crazy
Hello ladies and gentlemen. The following are going to be short stories, some half a
page and others maybe three to four pages long. Who knows what my pen is going to
dream of? Do you? You see I right stories. Funny aren’t I with my mistakes. I write these
shorter stories because I like to, but not really. Well it’s what I do because there is
nothing else here to do in this God awful place. And well a novel, I would hate to write
something that long. A novel is just a big strain on a creative mind, to stay with one
character, a single plot, and all for a long writing period of time. It would drive anyone
mad. Maybe that’s why most novelists end up in the nut house. Well I’m not a novelist,
so I’m not crazy. I dare you to call me crazy. And I would not have the time to write a
novel. And as I already said, I wouldn’t want to because I am not crazy. So without any
further ado about myself, I bring to you some of the stories I compiled here or in the
process of. So stay settled and be entertained. I promise after the first read you’ll want
more. How do I know you ask? It is because everyone always does. Everyone wants
more, more, and more. It entertains me, you enjoying reading my stories as much as I
hate writing them. So please do stay because I’m lonely here.
Once upon a time there was a little man who hated his appearance. And for hours he stared at the
bathroom mirror, finding everything wrong with him.
“My eyes can be bigger, my nose smaller. God my teeth are so ugly, my hair is all falling out,” he said.
And he would pull, tug on his hair so hard that it would be the only reason it would fall.
“God, I am so ugly. Even at just one glance!”
If at any time he had to go out, he would wear a hat to cover his head. And even in sizzling sun, he would
have a scarf brought so high to his face, it would cover his mouth. But, he hardly did ever go out. His
favourite pastime was to be stuck in that bathroom, having the mirror watch back at him.
“My clothes are so horrid. God nothing ever looks good on me. I’m so skinny. I should be bigger. I should
be stronger, like a real man. Look at my smile.”
He smiled, he tried to smile in front of the mirror but it was insincere and broke from it.
“God, I can’t smile.”
He raised his lips with both index fingers to look like a smile, and he held it. But, he also broke down into
“At least I can smile. I can finally hold a smile.”
He stared hard, and his lips started cracking from being spread to wide. They eventually cracked, drawing
blood. He stopped, licked his lips and tasted blood and his tears falling from his face. He took a picture of
himself and sent it on the internet to see if anybody in the world thought he was handsome looking. He
came back to it the next day to check the responses. And he sat there, quietly, reading the few he
“God, why did I do this? I’m pathetic.”