Bollocks People Tell You
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Frankly Frank says...
Just thinking about all those so called 'experts' - life coaches, gurus, swamis, TV cooks,
politicians, celebrity authors and faceless nobodies - desperate, to ram their knob head opinions
down my throat makes me want to spew. There is no area of life left without some grubby little
tapeworm smearing its unwanted and nauseating opinion into it.
The bastards cheerfully inform us if we don’t measure up to some impossibly tedious ideal
encapsulated in some bullshit celebrity ‘save the plankton’ type book or Government ‘fuck
responsibly’ type pamphlet our miserable existences are an insult to mankind's eternal struggle
to distinguish itself from the primordial slime it came from. The only real certainty is that the
world would be a better place if all these self-styled 'experts' shoved their endless opinions up
their respective arses.
However, as this is unlikely to happen, without a nationwide campaign involving much
bloodshed, glide instead into a chaise longue with a glass of Chardonnay and a coarse cut
Brussels pate or slump into a easy chair with a bottle of Newcastle Brown and a battered
saveloy, and rest assured that many ‘experts’ were harmed in the making of this book.