Bob Makransky's Magical Sampler
Love relationships fail because we go into them with a lot of la-de-da thought
forms about who we are and what we expect to get, and we run smack into heavy karma
and conditioning agendas we had no conscious idea even existed. We are not
consciously aware of what expectations we have until those expectations aren’t fulfilled;
and we don’t understand what our parents did to us until we find our partner doing the
same thing – make us feel that old, familiar feeling in the pit of our stomach.
As long as we’re relating to the other person on one of these three levels, we’re not
relating to an actual person at all, but only to our own self-reflection, our childhood
wounds, or our deep-seated fears and insecurities. On the expectations level our attention
is focused on the future; on the conditioning level it’s focused on the past; and on the
karma level it’s focused on the remote past. A true love relationship, however, involves
relating to a real, live person in the now moment.
Kidraising for Fun and Profit
It isn’t all that hard to be a good parent. We all want to be good parents; we all try
to be good parents; so with that motivation we’re bound to succeed. Being a good parent
is simply a matter of: 1) following our own hearts, and 2) ignoring everything society
has taught us about childraising.
Fundamentally, it’s not our job as parents to teach our kids how to get along in
society – to worry about their achievements or how well they’re doing socially – much
less to chastise them for not “measuring up”. Society has its Gestapo of teachers,
coaches, clergymen, scout leaders, etc. – not to mention the pressure of peers, advertisers,
and the media – to whip kids into line, to teach them to be “good citizens” and “team
players”, to “fit in” and “belong”. So kids don’t need more of that crap when they get
What kids need from their parents is love. They don’t need criticism, blame, or
guilt; they don’t need unfavorable comparisons with other kids; they don’t need to be
belittled or patronized, or to be treated rudely because their parent had a bad day at work.
When our kids come home with a lousy report card, or when they’ve committed
some other atrocity against society, do we chastise them and make them feel bad; or do
we commiserate with them and try to make them feel good? They already feel bad at
having transgressed society’s expectations (even if they feign defiance). Therefore, to
clamp down on them, to try to impose our will on them, is not going to help them any;
and if they have any gumption at all, some day they’ll spit it all back in our faces.
Babies do not come into this world grumpy and truculent and spoiling for a fight.
Babies come into this world too spaced-out and vulnerable to be pugnacious. Therefore,
if there is anger and fighting going on in a parent-child relationship, then it is logical to
assume that the parent is 100% to blame for the situation.
Parents are confused, they are cowed and daunted by the sanctions society has in
place if they fail in their role as taskmasters. Parents have to understand that it’s okay if