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Best Short Stories

"Oi say," he continued. "We didn't do a thing to you Germans, did we? Eh, old chap?"
The Kaiser was horrified. Calling an orderly he said to him:
"Take this blasphemer away and put a German uniform on him, and then bring him
back."
Shortly the Irishman was returned, in a full German uniform.
"Well," said the Kaiser, "maybe you feel better now. How is it?"
Pat grabbed him by the arm, and leaning over, whispered:
"Oi say, we gave them Irish Hell, didn't we?"
NEW SERVANT-GIRL STORY
The wife of a successful young literary man had hired a buxom Dutch girl to do the
housework. Several weeks passed and from seeing her master constantly about the house,
the girl received an erroneous impression.
"Ogscuse me, Mrs. Blank," she said to her mistress one day, "but I like to say
somedings."
"Well, Rena?"
The girl blushed, fumbled with her apron, and then replied, "Vell, you pay me four tollars
a veek--'
"Yes, and I really can't pay you any more."
"It's not dot," responded the girl; "but I be villing to take tree tollars till--till your husband
gets vork."
HE WAS BROAD MINDED
Even married life does not affect some people unpleasantly, or take away the fine spirit of
their charity.
A certain factory-owner tells of an old employee who came into the office and asked for a
day off.
"I guess we can manage it, Pete," says the boss, "tho we are mighty short-handed these
days. What do you want to get off for?"
"Ay vant to get married," blushed Pete, who is by way of being a Scandinavian.
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