Authority in the Family
Perhaps it's in the area of taking responsibility, of initiative. Perhaps it's in the area of bonding and connecting with
your wife intimately, far more. Perhaps it's in the area of honouring her, and valuing her. Perhaps it's in the area of
sharing and partnering together. Perhaps it's in the area of just a kindness towards her, God's speaking to you today.
Why don't you just raise your hand and say: God's been talking to me today, and I want to make some changes?
Let me just give you how you can start. It's very simple, you do this: you take one thing. You ask God, and your wife,
what you could do that would help implement that; and then day by day, you just take that one thing and work at it,
until your life starts to change. Say God, help me to grow in that area. We'll be working with men to do this. I want to
raise up a generation of men that know how to love and honour women. I think that'd be a great credit to the Lor d,
wouldn't you? I think that would raise up godly women too, because women being honoured, it would help them
overcome so much of what's happened in their life.
· Headship – teaching on this subject stirs up reactions in both men and women!
· God’s order is for the blessing and benefit of the family, not an exercise for domination.
· Putting the principle into practice requires understanding the heart o f God.
Jer 31:3 “I have loved you with an everlasting love, therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you”
· Lovingkindness (2616) – to bow to an equal, show self merci ful, steadfast.
· Drawn (4900) – to draw along, draw out, handle, sow.
· Lovingkindness – generosity, personal involvement and commitment in a relationship above and beyond any legal requirements, stead fast love and
· God does not use His power to control us but extends love to influence us.
· 1 John 4:10 “We love Him because He first loved us” ie, God’s love so influenced our life it brought forth love and commitment and submission to Him.
· Ps 103:11 “As the heaven is high above the earth so great is His mercy to them that fear Him”.
2. Principles that empower man’s leadership
· Prov 19:22 “The desire of a man is his kindness” ie, that quality which makes a man desirable, longed after is lovingkindness. Harshness,
authoritarianism, selfishness, all destroy a mans influence. Jesus – the model man – influenced people by His loving kindness, His mercy.
i) Principle of headship
1 Cor 11:3 “ The head of every man is Christ, the head of the woman is the man”
Headship – means:
a) Submission to Jesus Christ – to know, follow Him.
b) Assuming responsibility for leadership
· Having direction and purpose.
· T aking the initiative.
· Setting a personal example that inspires.
· Awaren ess o f the needs and concerns of wi fe and children.
· Protection from destructive in fluen ces.
ii) Principle of bonding
Eph 5:31 “These two shall become one flesh”
· God’s law of bonding is activated whenever 2 people turn their hearts towards one another with desire and longing.
· Leave (2641) – to let go, leave behind, forsak e all conflicting attachments. Man must let go all emotional and sexual attachments so he can cleave to wife.
· Cleave (4347) – to glue to, adhere to, join self to.
T he bonding or cleaving process is activated by:
a) Sexual intimacy.
b) T urning heart consciously towards his wife through romance and intimacy.
· T ime together or common activity.
· Communication – sharing your heart – thoughts, feelings, (date).
· Sacri fice – giving something that costs you, Matt 6:21, (gifts).
iii) Principle of partnership
Gen 2:18 “I will make a help meet for him”
· T his is a relationship where man and woman fit together perfectly and complete each other.
· Not co-dependent but distinct, different, fitting like clasped hands.
a) Accept and celebrate the difference in giftings, personality, backgrounds.
b) Share responsibilities according to gifting not culture.
c) Listen, don’t react to her concerns and needs.