By Ina Disguise
Published by Ina Disguise at Smashwords
Copyright 2013 Ina Disguise
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This book is all about assholes. There are many reasons why people are assholes, these are just a
few of the ones that I have come across. You will have many assholes in your life too. This was very
very hard to write, because I did not want to remember a lot of it. As Harry, one of the assholes on
my list, says, sometimes there is nothing you can do or say, people are just assholes. Even you.
Lucy is an asshole. She is your sister. She is an asshole because when you first managed to blow up
a balloon at the age of three, she took great pleasure in bursting it with her cigarette, which you
initially thought was pretty because of the smoke she blew out of her nose, but learned at two years
old that it tasted horrible when she stuck it in your mouth and that she could burn you with it.
When you were eight, she swung you around her head and dislocated your shoulder. You were in a
sling for eight weeks, but nobody remembers. Nobody remembers when she screams at you either,
even while she is doing it. Nobody ever seems to remember her doing anything wrong at all, in fact,
because they are frightened of what she will do if they mention it. She becomes jealous when her
Italian boyfriend is nice to you because he likes children. You say to yourself that when you are
twelve you don’t have to talk to her anymore because you will be old enough not to.