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Amock Comedy Magazine 5

THE AMOCK SURVEY
Amock is pleased to announce the results of the Reader Survey we carried out recently. They are as follows –
READER PERCENTAGE
Left-handed lesbians 2.1%
Bald plumbers 3.6%
Convicted bankers 0.1%
Vegetarian hairdressers 1.5%
Shell-shocked soldiers 21.9%
Hollywood directors with a sore head 15%
Men called Jim 17.2%
Butchers who water ski 4.8%
Homosexual welders 1.1%
Sailors called Tom 18.9%
Bird watchers (various) 1.0%
Channel swimmers with the mumps 0.2%
Disgraced politicians 44.6%
Astronauts with lumbago 2.88%
Vague people 8%
Chinamen called Ron 1.0%
Aliens from Alpha Centauri 4.9%
Game show hosts with big ears 2.8%
Strumpets called Candy 13.7%
Rock’n’roll drummers called Bob 21%
Spam salesmen 0.1%
Cobblers with vertigo 2.2%
Superheroes with the cold 5.5%
Reg Frobisher 00000.1%
Neo Nazi chiropodists 0.11%
Randy vicars 12%
Dogs called Fang 3.2%
Able-bodied seamen on leave 4.1%
Gas-fitters with piles 2.2%
Nudists with acne 1.1%
Brain surgeons with a wife called Cecily 0.3%
Men named Roger who prefer to be called Alice 0.2%
Men who wear turbans (for a laugh) 0.08%
DISGRACED BANKER
VEGETARIAN
HAIRDRESSER
READS AMOCK
The survey was carried out under strict supervision by the Institute of Watch That Bugger who attest that this
is a true and fair reflection of the readership of Amock as attested to by survey results.
 
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