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Amock Comedy Magazine 4

YOUR STARS WITH
MYSTIC
MABEL
Capricorn - December 22- January 20
Aquarius - January 21 – February 19
Don’t pick your nose this month. In
fact, don’t pick your nose any month.
It’s disgusting and you should be
ashamed of yourself.
Why can I see your underpants? Are
you Superman? Are you sure?
Pisces - February 20 – March 20
Aries - March 21- April 20
You will end up under the doctor this
month, but not to worry, he’s a
handsome lad. I was under him for
hours last month.
Drinking too much, Aries? So am I.
Want to meet up for a nip?
Taurus - April 21- May 21
Gemini - May 21- June 21
I see a cloud in your future. Or it
might be a pillow. No, it’s a cloud,
because I’m looking out of the
window.
Show respect to your elders. They’re
old bastards but they might leave you a
few bucks in their will.
Cancer - June 22 – July 23
Leo - July 24 – August 23
Love is in the air for you, Cancer. A
tall Australian Aborigine, I think and
his name is …. Ralph. Enjoy.
Avoid cats or any pussy related
products this month. Ginger Toms
have specially got in in for you. You
know her name.
Virgo - August 24 – September 23
Libra - September 24- October 23
Your S & M antics will lead to a visit
from the police but luckily they bring
their own handcuffs.
Your manly parts will increase to twice
their normal size this month, but a 10
ton weight does tend to do that for you.
Scorpio - October 24 – November 22
Sagittarius - November 23 – December
21
Don’t eat pasta this month. Your
grandfather shot an Italian during the
war and they’re not forgetting kind of
people.
Don’t be afraid to take up skipping.
All the neighbours are doing it and
there’s no reason you shouldn’t look
stupid too.
 
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