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Amock Comedy Magazine 4

A HISTORY OF SMALL INVENTIONS
The inventions which make up our modern world are
well known and their inventors are rightly lauded for
giving us a life of comfort and convenience. However,
once one goes beyond the much-appreciated items
such as televisions and computers one finds a
plethora of everyday objects which we take for
granted and whose originators are largely unknown.
To remedy this lack we pay tribute to those who
brought us the ‘little’ things.
Kem Mdimba invented the
nose-drip
catcher. This
never caught
on,
apart from
within
the French
court of
Louis XIV.
The
trouser
press was
invented by Len Shapely,
though he
was a transvestite and always wore
a frock..
The pencil sharpener was invented by William
Shakespeare, who noticed that his pencil went quite
blunt after a hard day’s play writing.
Pyjamas were invented by Lisa Coy. In retaliation,
her husband, Oliver, invented the night dress.
The ash tray was invented by Sir Walter Raleigh, but
not the one you’re thinking of.
Spectacles were invented by Pete Horlicks. He was
actually a poet, but needed a word to rhyme with
testicles.
Fish tanks were invented by Ron Keighley who had
some glass left over after glazing his house.
Ladyboys were invented by Lance Queen. He said
he did it for a joke.
Underpants were invented by Sir Ranulph
Coldbottom. He also invented the lavatory seat.
The wheelbarrow was not invented but discovered.
It was at the bottom of a garden owned by Harry
Jones.
Wigs were invented
by Thomas
Loopy when a
hare fell
Coat hangers were invented by tidy Chinaman and
part-time nudist, Wan Hung Lo.
on his head.
Keys were
inven
Lesbianism was invented by Lady Frances Prone
who said
ted by Simon
Shady,
she
fifteen years
before he
was hungry
at
invented the lock.
the time.
Socks were invented by Norman Wells who claimed
the idea came to him in a dream.
Cat-flaps
were
invented by
Tom
The garden hose was invented by Mrs Glady Pugh
who had seen her husband do a pee in the shrubbery.
Ginger. He
origin
ally used
them
Toast was invented by Kate Laird who was a
notoriously bad cook.
to smuggle his midget girlfriend into the house.
Mud was invented by Captain Fawcet-Fawcet of the
Fairly Light Brigade as a means of slowing down
enemy cavalry. He failed in attempting to patent his
invention.
Door nameplates were invented by postman Colin
Dover.
Roger Shambles invented the shower curtain.
 
 
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