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HOW TO DEAL WITH A JEALOUS HUSBAND
If you an amorous sort the situation may well occur
where you are caught in flagrante with another man’s
wife. While we would never condone breaking the
solemn vows of marriage, it does seem unfair that the
male is often thought of as the predator in these cases,
whereas the truth is that many wives are naughty and
eager for forbidden pleasures.
It is with that in mind that we have prepared this short
guide on how to deal
with being caught by
a jealous husband
while in bed on top of
his wife.
Strategy 1 – “I am a
doctor. I came upon
your wife while she
was having a fit and
realised that only
immediate sexual
intercourse could
save her life. I will
invoice you for my services.”
Strategy 2 – “I am an anthropologist and I am doing
research into the sexual activities of suburban
housewives. Your wife falls into the normal category.”
Strategy 3 – “I am a charity worker and this is charity
work Your wife is so butt ugly that it is obvious she isn’t
getting much. She has kindly accepted my donation.”
Strategy 4 – “I was lying on top of your wife to help her
iron out the creases in her blouse. I did not realise she
had removed the garment.”
Strategy 5 – “I am a yoga instructor. I am teaching your
wife how to achieve inner peace. This is the advanced
position.”
Strategy 6 – “I am a keep-fit instructor, helping your wife
to live a healthy lifestyle. Look how trim her thighs are
becoming.”
Strategy 7 - “I am with the CIA. We have received
reports that your wife was a fundamentalist Muslim with
plans to explode
bombs and destroy
our western
civilisation. I was
trying to ascertain if
she is a morally pure
Muslim or a filthy,
immoral westerner.
She is innocent.”
Strategy 8 - “I’m very
short-sighted. I
thought this was my
home. She smells like my wife.”
Strategy 9 - “Hey, you’re not Joe Henderson from the
South Valley Swinging Society. I thought Brenda looked
different.”
Strategy 10 - “You can’t shoot me. It wasn’t worth dying
for.”
Our last strategy is only applicable if you have been
invited into the marital home and should be spoken by
the unfaithful wife. “Well, Bob, you asked me to entertain
Phil till you got home, and I can’t sing or dance, so ….”
 
 
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