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Amock Comedy Magazine 3

HAIL FAGISTAN
George Kincaid has changed his name to Oberon as he claims to be King of the Fairies and is planning an
independent gay kingdom of which he will be ruler. Oberon was the King of the Fairies in Shakespeare’s A
Midsummer Night’s Dream.
“I used to be known as Fruity George, but I think that’s bit demeaning,” he explained. “So, when I came up with
the idea of forming a kingdom solely for gay men, I
thought is was an ideal opportunity to change my name
and stake a claim for kingship. I’m the best known gay
man in my neighbourhood, so I think it’s a strong claim.”
Oberon hopes his fairy kingdom can be established on
an uninhabited sun-drenched Caribbean island.
“There must be somewhere in the world where gay men
can live free,” he trilled, “but we have no intention of
moving in on someone else’s territory. My friend, Ken,
is already working on a design for our national flag and
grunge band, the Pus Brothers, will be writing a national
anthem. I’m hoping they come up with a big show
number. In the meantime we’ll be using the Village
People’s YMCA. Our country will be known as Fagistan.”
Gay men facing oppression across the world will be
invited to migrate to Fagistan and provided they fulfil the
immigration criteria they will be granted citizenship.
“We won’t be harsh, and even if you’re only a teeny bit
bisexual we’ll let you in. But you must be a practicing
homosexual, we don’t want anybody that’s just curious.
They’ll have to get their feet wet in the outside world before they qualify to be Fagistanis.”
Oberon doesn’t see any problems with populating his nation with creative and productive residents who will soon
form a society that can supply all its own needs.
“There are gay men in every occupation, firefighters, interior designers, software engineers, hairdressers, airplane
cabin crew, and we will make them all welcome. I see us being self-sufficient in all our needs within five years
though in the early months we might have to import lube.”
Why Oberon chose a monarchy rather than a democratic republic is also open to question but he denies
accusations of egotism.
“Oh God, it’s not about me,” he insisted, “It’s not as if I’m going to form a dynasty, I’m a gay man with no kids
to inherit the throne, and it’s very unlikely that my wife, Arthur will ever get pregnant. Future kings will be elected
by popular vote in a form of democratic monarchy, thereby mixing the modern with the traditional and I think
that’s a very gay thing to do.”
Pic by Franco Folini
 
 
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