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Amock Comedy Magazine 2

YOUR STARS WITH
Capricorn - December 22- January 20
Aquarius - January 21 – February 19
Beware of men called George. Or
women called Carol. Or is it the other
way around? I’m not very sure. Bad
line, I’m afraid.
Tight underwear could lead to bad
dreams and you know what means.
Well, I hope you do, because I don’t.
Pisces - February 20 – March 20
Aries - March 21- April 20
You are drinking to excess, but then
again so am I. Who cares, let’s live a
little. See you in the bar.
You could have difficulties with
vegetables this month, so beware of
carrots, turnip and cauliflower. Peas
are okay unless you have a cold.
Taurus - April 21- May 21
Gemini - May 21- June 21
A good month for reading for you,
Taurus. Get your nose into a good
book and out of those places where
you’ve been sticking it and where it
doesn’t belong. You know what I
mean.
Be wary of sharp objects as the stars
say you may be in line for a cut. This
may just be a pay cut, but things are a
bit hazy. Atmospheric interference,
I’m afraid.
Cancer - June 22 – July 23
Leo - July 24 – August 23
A dancing misfortune may befall you
this month, especially if you plan on
dancing. If you don’t this doesn’t
apply to you. Relax, man.
A musical month for you, Leo. Why
not learn to play the accordion. It’ll
help to take your mind off the fact that
your partner is likely to fall under a
bus.
Virgo - August 24 – September 23
Libra - September 24- October 23
Time to stop procrastinating and learn
to actually say procrastinating. You
know you’ve held off on this one.
Not a month to try any new medical
treatments as this is a bad month for
the pharmaceutical industry. Law suits
may follow.
Scorpio - October 24 – November 22
Sagittarius - November 23 – December
21
A great month for gay Scorpios as all
their deviant dreams will come true.
Bottoms up for some, I say.
Be very afraid of redheads as the
contract killer sent to get you is
‘Scarlet’ Frobisher and one more
killing gets him an award.
 
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