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Amock Comedy Magazine 2

A COMEDY SOAP OPERA
BARMAIDS
CAST OF CHARACTERS
BIG JOE DONNA NORMA ANNABELLE SUSAN RITA TOMMY
Tommy was preparing a cheese sauce in the kitchen of The Ardent Hedonist with Donna, the manageress of
the pub, hanging on his every word as she searched for new ways to entice her husband’s jaded palate.
“You’ve got to keep stirring, love,” Tommy said as Donna admired his soft white hands, “Else it’ll all stiffen up.
And you do not want it to stiffen up.”
“I like it stiffening up,” Donna complained.
“Me too,” Tommy agreed, “Only not in the kitchen, takes my mind of my work.”
They both laughed as Joe, the owner of the pub, entered. Donna noticed that a look of disdain passed over
Tommy’s face. He continued stirring but turned to face Joe.
“Do you believe in UFOs, boss?” he asked.
The question caught Joe without an answer. “Never really thought about it,” he spluttered.
Tommy nodded knowingly. “I do. In fact I think I was kidnapped by aliens once. It all came out under hypnotic
regression. They took me up to their flying saucer and conducted all sorts of tests on me.”
Joe looked wary, “Really?”
Tommy continued. “They had me on this table, stripped naked, and they had all these devices, big probes and
everything.”
Joe looked decidedly nervous and Tommy smiled. “And they turned me face down and took this big long
probe and ……”
The colour drained from Joe’s face. “Tell me later,” he yelled, making a rapid exit.
Tommy gave his sauce one last, lingering whisk and turned to Donna. “I hate bosses that hang about the
kitchen. Best to get rid of them as fast as possible and insanity usually works.”
Out on the frontline of the bar Norma and Rita were having a chat. “So, how are you liking it so far?” the old
hand, Norma asked the new start, Rita.
“Fine. The staff are nice.”
“Feet coping?”
Rita grinned. “Well, I’m cancelling the tap dancing. Any customers I should be wary of?”
 
 
 
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