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Amock Comedy Magazine 1

Mary Poppins was a lesbian.
James Bond didn’t drink beer because creator
Ian Fleming said it made him fart.
The Roswell flying saucer ran on chicken soup.
Extracted from The Complete Book of Lies by
Professor Ed Spurious.
Most undertakers collect stamps.
Barrack Obama has no pubic hair.
Excessive trampolining can affect your fertility.
Hedgehogs are more aerodynamic than
Bats can see in the dark if they have a torch.
penguins.
Grating cheese can reduce its fat content.
All women called Gloria are expert knitters.
Mother/son incest is permitted in parts of
The most common name for male porn stars is
Ecuador as long as the female partner is past
Bob.
the menopause.
All Chinese people get airsick when flying in
Goofy is better hung than Mickey.
biplanes.
Humus is used as a building material in Turkey.
Tom Cruise unsuccessfully auditioned for Adam
Savage’s role in Mythbusters.
No computer language recognition system has
been able to decipher a drunk Scotsman.
If all the books in the world were piled on top
of each other they would topple over.
Bald men are not permitted to be astronauts
by NASA.
Harriet Finlayson takes credit cards.
Gay Parisian men think it is a great triumph to
Prince Charles has a valet whose sole task is to
seduce straight policemen. Especially if they
polish the Royal buttocks each morning.
are on duty directing traffic.
The Pope enjoys playing darts.
In the future making love to your partner’s
There is no proof that the electro-magnetic
clone will not be regarded as being unfaithful.
spectrum actually exists.
Nancy Delaney and her bisexual husband,
Watching more than three hours of TV every
George, both have the same taste in men.
day will make you need the toilet.
The nail was invented in the third century BC
The Venus fly trap will not eat hornets.
but did not become popular till the first century
when the hammer was invented.
If all the foreskins circumcised since the
introduction of this religious requirement were
Rasputin popularised floral cod-pieces.
gathered together they wouldn’t fill a shoe-
Kenyans are allergic to Riesling wine.
box.
 
 
 
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