Amock Comedy Magazine 1
The legendary British Army regiment, The Queen's Own
Homosexuals is to be disbanded. The announcement
was made by the Ministry of Defence who insisted that
this was not due to military budget cuts.
"Absolutely not, even though it costs us more to kit out
a homosexual, what with handbags and so on. The
thing is, that in this day and age gay types are permitted
in the armed forces, and therefore a specialist
Homosexual regiment is no longer required."
The regiment, affectionately known as the Homos, was
formed by Oliver Cromwell as part of his New Model
Army and subsequently gained royal patronage. They
have seen action in public lavatories throughout the
Recruiting sergeant checks buttocks
of young Homosexual cadet.
world, wherever the British Army has served. Their finest hour was in the Zulu Wars, which led to their famous
battle cry, 'They don't like it up 'em'.
Identical twins, Jim and John Ugly, have been reunited after being separated at birth. They were adopted by two
different families on separate sides of the world, Australia and Greenland. Now, aged 46, the
have met up following an internet search.
"It's amazing," said Jim, "John and I have so many similarities despite our
different upbringings. We both drink beer, watch TV and like women."
"But I like men too, " John corrected.
"Yes, well, apart from that," Jim added. "We're both printers and are married
with two kids, both boys."
"I'm not too sure about my Ralph," John interjected, "He likes dolls."
"We both drive Fords," Jim insisted, "and both our wives have red hair and
"My Shirley is not a slut, just a bit flirty" John said.
“Well, we both live in three bedroom houses.”
“Normal with four people in the family.”
“We both like spicy food.”
“I like Mexican and you like Indian.”
“We both wear eye glasses.”
“I’m short-sighted and you’re long-sighted.”
“Okay, we both like arguing.”
“Can’t fault you there, bro.”
They plan to have both families meet at a neutral venue.