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Amock Comedy Compendium

LESBIANS ATTACK
Queen Eleanor of Lesbia has announced that she will send troops from the Lesbian Army to support democracy's
fight against terrorism in Afghanistan. This will be the first time that Lesbian troops have seen action
since the formation of the Lesbian nation, and comes at the request of U.S.President,
Barrack Obama.
In her statement the Queen said, "We will be sending a special division of Attack
Lesbians but not the legendary Lipstick Legion. The Lipsticks fight wearing stiletto
heels and these are not suitable for the Afghan terrain."
T h e Lesbian Army, though small in number, is extremely well-equipped and superbly trained.
Her Majesty's statement continued, "We cannot stand apart from the rest of the world. Many Lesbians have
been the victims of terrorism and this cannot be tolerated. I warn the terrorists now, cease your evil ways or face
the wrath of enraged Lesbians. I have ordered my girls to don their battle panties and shoulder their death-dealing
sex toys."
The Lesbian Army will be supported by members of the Lesbian Special Forces who are specialists in night
fighting and killing the enemy using only advanced frottage techniques.
The Queen's statement concluded with these stirring words, "The terrorists may think they have the upper hand
and can give us the finger, but we can lick them."
MALE READERS' SEX SURVEY
1. How many women have you had sex with?
2. How many were conscious?
3. Were any of them relatives?
4. Were all of them human?
5. How many positions have you tried?
6. What is your favourite position?
7. That's a bit perverted, isn't it?
8. Have you ever kissed your cousin?
9. Did he like it?
10. Have you ever watched your sister getting undressed?
11. Can I?
12. Have you ever had sex with a vegetable? (We won't count that thing with the carrot)
13. Did you interfere with yourself last Tuesday?
14. Will you interfere with yourself next Tuesday?
15. What is it with you and Tuesdays?
16. Have you ever tried on your girlfriend's underwear?
17. Was she wearing it at the time?
18. Are you well-endowed?
19. Who told you that?
20. You know she has bad eye-sight, don't you?
Your turn to get quizzed
soon, girls.
 
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