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Amock Comedy Compendium

SUBMISSIONS
BIG TANIA TAKES OVER
The UK government has
announced that the symbol of
Great Britain is to be changed
and that the replacement for
Brittania will be Big Tania.
"She will be a true
representative of the young,
modern, British woman" said
Prime Minister, David Cameron.
"She will be a single parent and
be addicted to TV soap operas and talent shows and having unprotected sex with
complete strangers as long as they are called Barry or Kevin.."
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The original Britannia was named after a Roman goddess but the modern version will
have no such connotations as authorities fear causing offence to the religious
sensibilities of followers of Jove.
"I'm sure Big Tania will be just as iconic as Britannia," added Cameron, "and I look
forward to hearing English rugby fans singing 'Big Tania, Big Tania, Big Tania Rules the
Waves."
NAZI DOUBLE ACT
Chaplin angle sewn up and Hermann and I will
do a passable Laurel and Hardy. Hermann will
Exclusive by Ron
obviously be the fat,
incompetent one and I will
Gullible
be the skinny one that does
Nazi propaganda chief, Josef
the thing with his hair. The
Goebbels, planned to take
scriptwriters are at work
on Hollywood, recent
and Leni (Riefenstahl) will
research has revealed. He,
direct. She isn't really
and Luftwaffe boss, Hermann
known for her comedy work
Goering, hoped to form a
but Goering and Goebbels
comedy double act that
have natural comedic talent
would rival Laurel & Hardy.
which is bound to shine
This information was found in
through. We have already
encrypted sections of his
planned one really funny
diaries, which have only just
scene where we try to get a
been decoded.
piano up some stairs but it
Goebbels wrote, 'This will be
is beyond us, so we get
the crowning achievement of
some Polish slave labourers to do it. My only
my propaganda career, to prove to the world
regret is that we have nobody to challenge
that we weren't nasty Nazis at all, but just
those Hebrew swines, the Marx Brothers, who
harmless comedians. The Fuhrer has the
are said to be favourites of Churchill."
 
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