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Amock Comedy Compendium

THE BENEFITS OF CHANGING YOUR NAME
What are the benefits of changing your name? Put simply, your name is your identifier or brand, and what it
conveys to others defines how they think of you. It is vital therefore that your name shows the true you. No one
would have been surprised at J. Edgar Hoover wearing a dress if it had been realised that his first name was
Jane.
Some surnames, of course, derive from professions or peculiarities our ancestors may have had. Thus someone
called Fletcher had an ancestor who made arrows, and someone called Hic had a forebearer who was a drunk.
Thus it is important that your name accurately reflects your personality and, as it is relatively easy to change
one's name, there is no reason
why you should be saddled with a bland John Smith when you could
draw admiring glances if known
as Ralph Rocketshot.
Care must be taken however.
There is the tale of
Norman Smallparts who decided
to change his name after
many years of intense
embarrassment, He
missed the point however by
changing it to Jimmy
Smallparts. On a similar note
some names may carry
historical connotations which
must be shrugged off. For
instance no member of the
Mengele family should
consider a career in medicine
without a name change.
Honesty is the best policy
when deciding on what to
change your name to.
There is nothing wrong with
naming yourself after your
heroes, but again care
must be taken in selection.
Muhammad Ali Eastwood
might sound strange to some
ears, while Tarzan
Travolta is really going to
confuse the kids.
Physical descriptions are fine, but only if they accurately describe your appearance. Don't expect anybody to
accept you as Butch Rockcrusher when you weigh 100lbs, even if you are a girl, and Red McPherson needs to
have at least some hair.
Your personal abilities can also supply an apt name. Boxers of course have it easy, as witness Hitman Hearns
and Sugar Ray Leonard, though Deadly Docherty was better known for flatulence rather than fisticuffs. Where
you have a touch of schizophrenia however this can be confusing. Harpo Einstein says nothing about you.
Adopting a foreign name can have definite advantages. Women still swoon over the mere mention of Giacomo
Casanova, but it's doubtful they would cross the road for him if he'd been known by the English translation of
Jack Newhouse. And Che Guevara's real first name was Ernesto. What kind of revolutionary is called Ernie?
In conclusion let us take as an example a guy called Thomas Forrester who wants to change his name to
something better suited to his personality. He is called Thomas after his mother's father and as he loved the old
man he would be loathe to drop it. The Forrester is a tribute to his father's ancestors, who carved their way
through forests to build our modern civilisation, another piece of heritage that he does not want to lose. The
answer, of course, is easy, he simply changes his name to Forrester Thomas.
 
 
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