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Amock Comedy Compendium

The first chapter from rom-com novel, The Stormer, by award-winning author,
Gurmeet Mattu.
Struggling artist, Hugh, thinks he’s made it when he’s commissioned to paint a
mural on the gable end wall of a tenement building in his beloved Glasgow .
He paints a nude of his first love, Davina. But she’s married to senior policeman,
Crawford, now and he’s not happy about this portrayal of his wife. He sets police
unit The Mad Skwad the task of sorting Hugh out, and has him barred from all the
city’s businesses.
Enter a whimsical world where romantic ideals meet sheer idiocy, populated by a
biker called Midden, a tramp called The Shame, a gang leader called Slab and a
gorgeous, naked, redhead called The Stormer.
The Sunday Times called the stage version “…an off-beat romantic comedy, full
of incident, colour and suspense".
THE STORMER
Davina was her name and she pleaded that I should not write this, that I should not expose her to the world.
Apologies, sweet Davey, whose standard would I bear if your starlit eyes had not so pleaded. Those days are
gone.
1. THE WALL AND THE PEOPLE
See wee Hugh, way up there, high in the sky, splashing on paint like there was a world glut - a paint lake? A
paint mountain?
Theres a heap of red, because hes on her hair now, and he’s got to get it right, tints of yellow, splashes of orange.
And her? She's washing dishes, of course, like she always does.
Up in the cool fresh air, the sun blazing down, Hugh wiped the sweat from his forehead. Nudes always did that
to him.
Took a breather, leaning on the scaffolding, looked out over the city. This wee guy, barely five five, with his
shaggy hair and moustache, unkempt, unloved, this heartbreaker.
Oh Glasgow.
See, there were these three kids once, grew up together in that fair city, nation of Scotland, continent of Europe.
They went to school together, played together, fought together. They knew each other well, and in the way of
such things they became lovers and haters, winners and losers, dreamers and the dreamed about.
Their names were Hugh Cooper, the hero of our tale; Crawford Gillespie, the villain; and Davina McLean, the
Stormer.
Later, Crawford became a policeman, the crown prince of the Strathclyde Force, and married the beautiful Davina.
And Hugh? Well, Hugh’s way up there, high in the sky, splashing paint all over Glasgow.
It’s what he does, creates his art, hanging outside a renovated tenement building, its stone-work sand-blasted
to the colour of cream. At its side is a vacant lot, a piece of waste ground, now being landscaped by workmen.
They are creating a little city garden with patches of grass, flower beds, a rockery, park benches. It’s nice.
 
 
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