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Amock Comedy Compendium

A parrot is to sue the lengendary Monty Python comedy
team, claiming that his grandfather, who appeared in the
famous 'Dead Parrot' sketch, was not compensated
adequately for his performance in the TV show.
George Parrot said, "It's all right for Cleese and Palin to
swan about with their fame and fortune but what about
my poor old gramps, Ernie? It was his performance as a
deceased parrot, what had shuffled off this mortal coil,
which bought them their accolades. And what did he get
for it, a handful of birdseed. He was such a good actor
that viewers assumed that it was an actual dead parrot
that was used. But it was Ernie, acting his socks off.
Admittedly he had a very bad agent but the Pythons
should cough up."
The Taj Mahal in Agra, India, noted as one of the
most beautiful buildings in the world, is to become an
IT support call centre it was announced yesterday.
“We are suffering from a great backlash from western
consumers,” explained Bandu Lal, President of the
Indiatalks Corporation, which will be staffing the
centre. “They do not like their western companies
outsourcing to India and thus reducing the number of
jobs available to them. Also they are aggrieved that
our call centre operatives do not appreciate all the
nuances of the way the English is spoken in their
native countries. For instance, what does the ‘up
yours’ and ‘sit on it’ mean? It is most confusing as
these are not phrases we use here. If it is intended as
the insult it is not very effective. We much prefer to be
creative and use terms like, ‘Your face resembles the
hinder parts of a baboon’. Now, when we relocate to
the Taj we hope that callers will realise that they are
talking to someone who is sitting in a most beautiful
place and should be respected and not abused.”
The Taj Mahal was built in the 17th century by the
Mughal emperor, Shah Jahan, for his wife, Mumtaz
Mahal, and some have said that to use it as a call
cnetre is a desecration of an artistic masterpiece.
Bandu Lal, however, was not fazed. “If India wants to
progress we cannot hold onto the past. We need jobs
and we have educated and well-trained people to do
those jobs. To the critics I say, ‘Blow me!’