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Amock Comedy Compendium

task to perform it will march into the bathroom no
matter what you are doing. Locking the door will not
stop a machine capable of demolishing your house.
Its priority is to fulfil its task. Your youngest son will,
of course, delight in telling the machine to bring
something from the bathroom when your teenage
daughter is in the shower, leading to consequent
shrieks, but recall that the robot can also be
programmed to discipline children. It is of course
unable to physically harm, but your son will find it
uncomfortable to find the unit standing at the school
gates waiting for him with a set of baby reins.
FIRE BREATHER LEAVES WIFE
Legendary fire breather, George Hobson, better known
as The Great Inferno, has left his wife, Merilyn, claiming
that she did not really love him.
“She used me,” George complained bitterly from the
motel where he
is currently staying. At first
I
suspected
she’d
found
another man,
but that
didn’t seem
plausible
as she’s no
r a v i n g
b e a u t y .
Then
I
though she might have married me
for my fame and fortune, but she comes from a wealthy
family so that seemed unlikely. It was only when I came
across some of her diaries from when we were courting
that I realised the truth. That no-good bitch married me
just so I could light her damn barbecues.”
Most families give their robot a pet name almost
immediately, with Robbie being the favourite name by
a long chalk. This is perfectly acceptable as long as
the men of the house, Robert and Bobby Jr., have no
objections.
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STAR SELLS BATHWATER
asses for the past year to try and get a part my lips aren’t
in good shape. And unhygienic too. Then
I thought about selling my uneaten
dinners, but that wouldn't raise much as
I was taught to clear my plate. The bath
water idea came to me while I was lying
in the tub and it just seemed perfect. I
have three baths a day, ever since sweet
Johnny Dipp told me I was stinking, and
putting it into 250ml bottles should mean
there's quite a lot to sell for the poor
children who have so recently lost a limb
and been orphaned while fleeing a
meteorite collision in a minefield. I expect
bidding to start at $1,000 and who knows
how high it can go. It’s what every
Angelica Hott-Stuff fan wants."
Hollywood actress, Angelinica Hott-Stuff, plans to raise
money for charity by selling
bottles of her bath water on Ebay.
"It's for the children," she said at
a press conference yesterday.
"Those poor kids, trapped in a
hurricane with famine, an
earthquake and an epidemic, it
makes your heart bleed."
Ms Hott-Stuff, who has not
appeared in a hit film for several
years, went on to explain how she
had come up with her money-
raining scheme.
"At first I was going to let the fans
kiss me to raise money, but as
I’ve been kissing producer’s
 
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